She said, "I believe you are giving birth to the real you."
I had to agree. The other day I wrote a Listen to Life about that topic but I did not like the direction that the writing was headed. She described the current changes clearly. And it hit me between the eyes.
Our lives present many opportunities to grow and develop; we call them growth spurts. Less frequent are the opportunities for rebirth, which like the "original" act, is a product of intimacy, fertilization and gestation. Re-birth, like birth, begins with joy, includes pain, and culminates in joy again. We all have these developments, and they deserve our attention as well as our commitment to pre- and post-care.
Re-births are preceded by intimacy, most typically with one's self, I believe. We come into bold, direct, contact with our own heart and soul, and connect in direct ways our actions of living with the essence of who we are. In that moment of connection, there is a fertilization of sorts...of ideas, of beliefs, of confidence, of callings. Then we wait, and go through growth and gestation complete with the nausea of change, the cravings of personal hungers, the stretch marks of pushing our boundaries outward, and the contractions of pushing our new awareness into the world. It takes time. It is not always pretty. But it is growth, and a powerful thing.
I remember serving as "coach" in the delivery room for the entry of my boys into the world. It is an important, and rewarding role. We also have coaches who help us breathe in ways to minimize the pain, who alleviate the stress, who help us keep focus, and who listen to the anguish as well as the joy. We need as many stalwart coaches as possible to have a life of birth, growth, re-birth, growth....
Her timing to share her observation was perfect. It was also lion-of-Oz courageous to risk the observation because her comment involved insights, religion and more. It is important that the birth and re-birth processes involve others, encourage risk, reward change, accept risk and develop focus.
I know that I have far fewer years remaining than I have been around, and I have never felt as comfortable and confident...and no use burning daylight, as they say. As many have said or suggested, "Can't midlife last longer?" There is much to do, and much to see, experience, create and share. All of us have the chance to bring our newborn selves to the world and be received with joy and care.
"She" is my ex-wife; she is my friend. Life is too short for enemies, baggage and impediments to fulfillment of potential. Friends are our midwives that help us through the various developments of birthing.
Be a midwife; accept the midwives available to you; accept intimacy with yourself to birth a new you. Birth is a beautiful thing and re-birth is a miracle of potential, too.