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Save Yourself the Trouble
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~ Author Unknown
I recently saw the above take on the "serenity prayer" on the wall ofSelf-Healing Expressionson Facebook. I believe that on e of the hardest lessons we can learn in life is that the only one we can change is ourself!
- How many times have you tried to get your partner to stop doing something or start doing something you want him or her to do?
- How often have you felt like "knocking your head against a wall" because your sister won't stop falling in love with losers.
- How frustrated do you get when your best friend complains incessantly about her job yet won't do anything about it?
Sometimes we feel we know what is best for the other person. Most of the time, if we are being honest with ourselves, we want the other to change so we won't feel uncomfortable. When you realize your efforts to change the other are not working, the best thing to do is manage your discomfort. This could be by:
- using a stress management technique that works for you,
- making a conscious decision about whether the issue is worth expending your energy or emotion on,
- reminding yourself that the only one you can change is yourself and then choosing to do just that by changing your reaction.
Change is hard, in fact, sometimes it feels impossible. It is impossible when you are setting out to change someone else. Self care is managing your own stress, anxiety, or frustration when another person is acting or not acting in the way we wish they would.
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