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Words in Motion

from WordDrive Communications
Writing in service to your voice

May 2010

Free to Subscribers:
"Social Media for Hospitals and Health Care Organizations"
Have you received your free copy of this paper on the essentials of social media for health care? If not, contact me and I'll send you the PDF version.

The paper is generating lots of interest! See the press release at Health-Newswire, for example.
Polish Your Writing: The Artful Tweet
Whether you use social media or not, you can learn about writing that works by practicing the art of tweeting.

You may have seen the March issue on brevity. Twitter presents another kind of challenge to limit your words--only 140 characters to get out your message, including the links. It's an extreme example of the need to make every word count.

Let's start with an exercise. (What good is a newsletter that doesn't make you work?) Which of the following tweets do you think are already perfect? Which could be improved?

A. Simplest weight loss tip ever: Leave serving dishes on counter, not on table; men eat 29% less.

B. We won an award for a method we came up with reduce the incidence of pneumonia in kids on ventilators.

C. Today (4/28) is National Walk@Lunch Day-get out there!

D. 40,000 Americans/year have surgery for leaky mitral valves. Traditional fix: open-heart surgery. LHH has new approach

My critique:
A. Perfect! Weight loss is a hot topic to start; the tip is only 8 words long and fits nicely; the closer is substantial though brief.

B. There's a better way to use those 140 characters. Cut out the the's and an's, reduce the prepositions, and put the central topic--kids on ventilators--at the start. The award is less interesting to the world than how the method helps children. For example:
Kids on ventilators can get pneumonia--our award-winning method means happens less often.

C. Nothing like a call to action. I wouldn't change a thing.

D. Pretty good word choices, though I'd prefer not to start with so many words about the 40,000 Americans. Go ahead, you give it a try!
From the Fountain Pen: The Tiny URL
The Tiny URL is one of those nifty little tools (there are others) that every tweeter should know about. At the site, paste in your 70 character URL and watch it shrink:

From:

https://www.akronchildrens.org/cms/subsite/5ce44149e4a15b96/index.html

To:

http://tinyurl.com/2bnrvjf

Now you have more room for your message. See you in June!

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In This Issue
Free to Subscribers--White Paper
Polish Your Writing: The Artful Tweet.
From the Fountain Pen: The Tiny URL
Social Media Snapshot
A monthly offering of links to helpful examples and advice:

10 Hospital Social Media Success Stories

Measuring Social Media Performance

More Physicians Communicating On Line with Patients
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