The Deep Secret of Sexual Abuse in the Black Community
It's nothing that we sit around the dinner table and talk about. It's not a discussion at family gatherings. In fact, sexual abuse, in its rawest form, has become taboo in the realms of the African American culture. Yet, it is rocking our community to the core of our very existence. This imbalance, hurls us into a pit of endless cycles- the cycles of broken marriages, unhealthy relationships, and isolation.
Guilt, shame and hopelessness are all emotions associated with the trauma of child sexual abuse. The act of abuse, whether covert or overt, scars the victim. Essentially, every facet of the victim's life has been damaged; however the affects are sometimes not evident until years later.
Affecting millions of people every year, sexual violence is a serious issue. Available data underestimate the problem due in part to how it is defined and how the data is collected. More than 70% of sexual assault cases are not reported to police and many more are not disclosed at all.
Sexual abuse crosses all boundaries; it shows no respect for race, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. Yet, studies show that abuse is more common among children in lower-income families. It appears that in these cases, abuse is more likely to be reported because this group tends to be in contact with public agencies more than others.
The childhood wounds of abuse often lead to lifelong mental and physical problems. For example, many psychologists believe that the inability to form healthy adult relationships is a direct result of being abused/traumatized in a child's formative years.
Most of this trauma results from being hurt by other people, including family members. Black Americans report being more severely abused in terms of sex acts, as well as the amount of force used to commit such acts. They also report being more often abused by uncles and stepfathers. As a result these victims have a difficult time developing trust. They often grow up expecting that others will violate them.
On the other side, many women trust to easily, having a hard time judging who is safe. Remember, they too have been betrayed by their family members they loved. For all intents and purposes, this has given them a false security of just handing over trust instead of requiring it to be earned or deserved. Because they have not had the opportunity to develop trustworthy relationships, women don't know how to recognize trustworthy individuals.
A woman's sexuality can also be affected as a result of childhood sexual abuse. Sex is confused with love or getting care because the abuser gave her attention and affection through sexual contact. Such attention can open up a woman to unwanted or forced sex. Childhood sexual abuse can also frighten women and cause them to develop negative feelings about sex. When a woman becomes sexual as an adult, she often has flashbacks of abuse and will altogether avoid sex or intimacy to avoid the negative feelings and memories associated with the childhood trauma.
Studies have shown that childhood sexual abuse is typically an inter-generational occurrence. Mothers of abused children are significantly more likely to have been sexual abuse victims themselves. To tackle the crisis, we have to empower parents and children to understand the severity of its ramifications; the ramifications of not being able to thrive in healthy adult relationships both sexually and emotionally.
The safety of our children begins with parents. Parents must teach children to have authority over their body and be aware of not necessarily people but particular circumstances. Let them know that they have the right to say "no" to whomever. If it does not feel right, sound right, or look right seek help. Self empowerment comes from self love and respect which leads to prevention.
About the Author
Soul on Fire, Skyy Banks premier novel, is an exploration of the torment of abuse and the consequences of self-hatred and self-destructive behavior, and it sheds light on why so many women sabotage relationships and friendships that mean so much. Before Soul on Fire, Banks shared her work with the world through freelance writings.
She is a native of Arkansas who now calls Atlanta, GA her home. Banks enjoys reading, writing, and traveling. Banks uses her writing as a platform to encourage her readers to explore taboo subjects and engage in dialogue to find solutions. She is a self-motivated woman and knows the world is waiting for her greatness. Website: http://www.skyybanks.com
ISBN-10: 0981532659 | ISBN-13: 978-0981532653
