new Logo
Turning Point
Volume IV, Issue 4
ISSN 2154-7963
This Month It's All About
Please Interrupt Yourself
Margaret Recommends
About Margaret
Join our list

Please click the button below to be added to our our mailing list.

Join Our Mailing List



February 24, 2011
Personally Speaking

Greetings!


In one of my favorite "TED Talks" (a topic for a future edition of 'Turning Point') I learned that anger is actually a physiological response and after our bodies process that response (in about 90 seconds), the rest is up to us. I was recently reminded of this when I saw a man go completely ballistic because he thought someone cut in front of him at the grocery store. I don't know what else had happened to him that day, I am sorry he was having a tough time. I am also sorry he did not learn how to interrupt himself.

 

Most of us are taught that interrupting people is rude, but sometimes interrupting ourselves is the most intelligent and thoughtful thing to do.



Peace,
 
 

MMM Signature


Margaret Meloni
 A Message From Margaret   

Please Interrupt Yourself   

 
man and woman talkingYou know that interrupting someone when they are speaking is really rude. If you have children you have probably worked very hard to teach them to say "Excuse me", before they break into conversations. What about interrupting you? I wish you would.


Click Here and Listen to this 2 min 56 sec Message from Margaret or continue reading.
 

Be honest, every once in a while you have a strong and immediate reaction to a person or a situation. It could be something they do or it could be something they say. In the best case scenario, it causes you to burst out laughing. (Work with me here, I am assuming laughter is the appropriate response.) But in the worst case scenario you might say or do something you regret. You might yell, say something truly ugly or stomp off slamming the door behind you. I get it, you were overcome with emotion. Most people will give you a free pass on one or two outbursts. Beyond that you are really damaging your reputation. You are at risk of becoming categorized as difficult, unable to handle conflict and unprofessional.

 

You don't want to have outbursts. You know everyone around you does not have outbursts. Are they all just over-analytical, unemotional, unfeeling people? Not likely. You might be more emotional than others, but you can still learn to control your own outbursts. You can learn to interrupt yourself.

 

Pay attention to what happens right before you begin your outburst.  In poker it is said that people have tells; signs that indicate when they are bluffing. You have signs that indicate an outburst is on the way. You might feel warm or your stomach turns flip flops or your hands start to clench. Do you grit your teeth? Does your head start feeling like it is going to explode? Pay attention.

 

When you know what you feel like just before an outburst, you can practice interrupting yourself. You do not have to immediately respond to every action taken or every comment made by others. You do have a choice. If you are really upset, it can take about 90 seconds for you to gain immediate control of yourself. Take the 90 seconds, it is well worth it.

 

Interrupting yourself means you do not allow yourself to speak until you feel confident that you can respond calmly and professionally. It means you do not allow yourself to get up and stomp out. It means you understand that you are having an emotional reaction and you take time to come to grips with your emotions, then you respond. If you feel uncomfortable knowing that others are waiting for your response, learn to calmly and quietly say, "I just need a minute to reply" or "I heard you and I am thinking I am not ignoring you."  The fact is people probably will not remember that you took your time to reply to them, but they will definitely remember if you reply inappropriately.

 

Sometimes interrupting yourself is good manners.

 


Want to use this article in your eZine or web site?
You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dedicated to helping professionals become free from the work related conflict that prevents them from experiencing peace, Margaret Meloni publishes the 'Turning Point' eZine on a bi-weekly basis. Contact Margaret at info@MargaretMeloni.com.


 

Margaret Recommends

Earn PDUs in the Comfort of Your Home

pdu podcastWhy not learn how to manage a high-performing PMO or deal with difficult project sponsors from the comfort of your own home? With the new series of webinars available from The PDU Podcast, PMP/PgMP certified project managers can earn their professional development units (PDUs) in a format that suits them. No more weekends on the road, or late evenings in poorly lit auditoriums - the PDU podcast makes learning as easy as hooking up an iPod, downloading the course material, and watching at your convenience, on your schedule.
  
The PDU Podcast (http://www.pdupodcast.com) covers a variety of expertly taught topics and are suited for a project manager who not simply wants to earn PDUs but master the skills necessary to improve overall workplace performance. The series covers over a dozen distinct topics, presented in a monthly fashion. Those who subscribe to The PDU Podcast automatically receive a new webinar each 30 days. The podcasts and webinars can be viewed on virtually any mobile device and laptop. The automated service will ensure that you have enough PDUs at the end of your recertification cycle and makes it easy to keep up on all the latest PM topics.
  
One of the webinars helps PMPs learn how to effectively plan and lead meetings, which can reduce stress at work by creating a far more productive and engaged atmosphere. Other podcasts feature topics including how to manage a team in a virtual world, a vital skill in an increasingly information driven age. By understanding how to relate to teams through software, project managers can not only motivate virtual teams, but learn how to solve virtual conflicts, too. Other podcasts will teach you how to push beyond simple management concepts and develop your strategic project skills, leading to greater short and long term benefits for the organization. The PDU Podcast also encompasses a two part presentation on the leadership challenges of complex projects.
  
With The PDU Podcast certified PMPs are taking the stress out of earning PDUs and can focus on what is truly important: excelling in the art of leadership.
  
Learn more at The PDU Podcast.
About Margaret
headshot Margaret Meloni is President of Meloni Coaching Solutions, Inc., a company devoted to helping professionals become free from the work related conflict that prevents them from having good working relationships and impacts the quality of their personal lives.

While Margaret is well known as a teacher and coach to project managers her students and clients often find that what she really brings them is freedom to bring their authentic selves to the office. Margaret truly believes that we spend a lot of time working, some times we see our co-workers more than we see our family and friends, and how we treat one another makes a tremendous impact in our lives, so let's make these interactions positive.  

You can learn more about Margaret and her courses, programs, and products at MargaretMeloni.com.


Meloni Coaching Solutions, Inc.
5318 East Second Street #413
Long Beach, CA 90803
info@margaretmeloni.com
Phone : (866) 639-0487
Fax: (562) 439-0854