LOVE is in the air--and on billboards and advertisements and sale flyers and banners across the front of candy stores and ... But nonetheless, and in spite of merchandising, love is in our hearts, and it is a gift from God, even though we are cranky and forget that sometimes. (Wake up, Love! And WAY TO GO, GOD!)
After that warm-up, I bet you think I'm going to talk about LOVE this month, right? Well, surprise-surprise. As opposed to brain freezes, I'm going to talk about brain sneezes because flu season is also in the air, as is some disturbing medical news, which is what got me to thinking, Well now THERE is a TwinkleGram in the making!
If you are herewith receiving your first TwinkleGram, thanks for subscribing. To oldies and newbies, from Today's Message to the Toilet Paper survey results, this is perhaps one of my most bizarre TwinkleGrams, so HANG ON!
If you've got some time on your hands, please participate in this month's NEW survey on the topic of LOVE. Hey! You can only avoid it for so long.
Peace and grins and away we go,
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Today's Message
Poor-baby me was sick almost the entire month of January. (Pause here for a group hug.) First I had a ten-day head cold which caused me to blow-blow-blow my nose, gently (and not so gently) down the tissues. My voice sounded like that of a drowning frog. But at last, I was well again--for 3 days, and then, BLAMMO! This time whatever the yuck was was far worse than the first round. Blowing and snorting, wheezing and throat lozenges. Wakefulness at night; drowsiness during the day.
Worst of all, I suffered with laryngitis. The more I spoke, the less I could. (I heard that applause, George!) And wouldn't you know, I had a speaking engagement with a FUN group of ladies zooming right at me. (A big shout out to the Alleluia Lutheran folks!) I was afraid if I didn't get well soon, I'd have to mime my entire message. Thankfully--and in the nick of time--my voice became just strong enough. Even though I had to stop several times to blow my nose, I could be understood.
Within a week after the retreat, and toward the tail end of my illness, I heard what I'm sure was intended as good medical news: scientists could now remove brain tumors through the nostrils. (Do you already SEE where this is going?) Through my bizarre sense of "interpretation," I deduced that after nearly 4 straight weeks of blowing my nose, I had, by virtue of excessive "access to the brain," lost most of it "down the tissues." I mean, if one can reach the BRAIN by going up through one's nostrils (e-gads!), what keeps one's brains in there when one is MONSTER BLOWING for nearly four weeks in a row?!
Now, I'm sure you medical folks out there will assure me that I am simply insane. (For the record, I accept and acknowledge that assurance.) But since I heard that report, I'm almost positive that I cannot remember as well as I did before my month-long illness. I started to Google "brain chart" to see which part of my brain is closest to the top of my nostrils, but I'm too afraid! What if I blew away the cognitive part, and even though I think I'm writing a TwinkleGram, I am actually typing gibberish? (Again, I accept your diagnosis.)
All this to say ... I honestly don't have a clue what I'm trying to say, other than although medical science continues to advance, apparently so does my imagination. Next time you mindlessly pick your nose, try not to think like me, okay? Because if you do, you'll be worried that you might just accidentally remove the part of your brain that knows how to read and interpret TwinkleGrams, and THEN what?!
Then again, perhaps you're aiming that finger.
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 COMING JUNE 2
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DON'T MISS YOUR LIFE!: An Uncommon Guide to Living with Freedom, Laughter and Grace
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 TwinkleGrammer
Survey Says RESULTS
about TOILET PAPER
MY but you TwinkleGrammers LOVED weighing in on the topic of toilet paper! I read lots of ALL CAPS YELLING, hysterically funny observations, thoughtful ponderings, diverse suggestions for TP manufacturers, and considerable displeasure about dancing bears selling the stuff.
To view percentage results of the multiple choice answers, go to this page. There you will learn fascinating stats, like that 75 percent of us are double-ply groupies.
For questions that invited answers--and for some questions that only took written answers--I herewith report some of my favs since those responses are not viewable to you at the above page. My occasional comments will appear within [ ].
1. I use toilet paper: This was a yes or no question, but 10% of respondents still felt it necessary to add a comment.
Many of you literally remember the Sears Catalog pages/outhouse days--and not with extreme fondness. One person shared how she and her siblings scouted the neighbors' homes for telephone books.
A few more of your fabulous weigh-ins on this yes/no question:
- right now i am into using it fairly sparsely...you know, save the planet, etc. ;)
- But when I worked at a summer camp during high school they showed us all about using the BIG leaves in the woods!
- Yes, but if I run out, I just "shake it" like my grandma taught me to do.
- Although when my hemorrhoids decided to become asteroids, I learned those flushable wipes are nice, too.
- My sister one time had to use cotton balls because it was only thing available as she was stuck in her bathroom with several guests at her house!
Continue to the rest of the individual survey results
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 NEW TwinkleGrammer
SURVEY SAYS:
It's all about our
LOVE!
Trust me, I have not taken this too (hardly at all) seriously. Just kick back and have some fun. Ten quick quirky questions like "The color of love is ...," most multiple choice and most results instantly available as they stack up. TAKE ME TO THE SURVEY!
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What's New With CHARLENE?
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TALK ABOUT A BABY WITH
GOOD TASTE IN BOOKS! Check THIS out!
Thank you, Walton's parents, for giving me permission to share your adorable son and his excellent literary task.
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Thank you to everyone who's inquired about a new Dearest Dorothy book and/or the lack of recent updates on my websites. Information is posted here.
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"Forward email," "SafeUnsubscribe," "Update Profile/Email Address," etc. links are available at the bottom of this e-mail. Those are all hyperlinks for YOU (not me) to do those things. So, please keep a TwinkleGram in your email files so you can handily make changes, like, say, you get a new email address. Please do not e-mail me your new address and think I will get around to changing it. Odds are, I won't--or, due to some settings, can't. Thanks! | |
Brain Sneeze