| What (not who) is YOUR best friend? |
September 2007 | |
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Dear TwinkleGrammers,
Hel-LO everyone! I hope your lives have been Twinkling along. Our days here in the suburbs have been filled with all kinds of things, including George's second knee replacement (he's doing GREAT again, thank you!), power outages (how spoiled ARE we?!), visiting grandbabies (OH! OH!), preparing for my upcoming book tour (panic!) and watching our Cinderella (but of course) pumpkins grow. You check and check on the vines and nothing seems to be happening. Then, you skip a couple days, and . . . PUMPKINS! There is, of course, a great metaphor in there, but I'll save that for another installment. ;>)
I have lots to share with you this TG, and much for which to simply be grateful, so pick and choose as time and your interest allows. If all you care about is the message, that's WONDERFUL since that is the Real Reason I started the TwinkleGram. But since so many of you now subscribe through the Dearest Dorothy books and my humor travel blog, and send me e-mails of inquiry about upcoming books etc., the only way I can keep up with it all is to do One Big TwinkleGram. (Sometimes there just isn't enough of me to go around. I bet many of you can relate to THAT!)
So, if you'd care to see where I'll be touring and what else I've been up to, or you want to participate in our first curious (okay, I'M curious) TwinkleGram Survey Says, or are inclined to start your Christmas shopping early, breeze through the above "In This Issue" banner (green) and find what ya want! (Special purchase offer is not listed in the index, so scroll, baby, scroll, ifyou'd like to learn about DUH to the fifth power!) Otherwise, just read "Today's Message" and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!
Since it's my birthday month AND the weather has cooled, I'm feeling perky. Hope you are too.
Peace and grins,
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 Today's Message
While walking, arms full, to the checkout counter in a local resale shop (even more fun to shop than the Dollar Store!), I was happy to notice there was only one gentleman in line, and his business seemed about done. Sure enough, by the time I arrived, he picked up his bag, uttered a farewell and away he went. I hoisted my arms and gratefully plunked my mass of stuff down on the counter. I was expecting a quick exit so I could rock and roll onto my next errand. (In case you missed it, that was the windup.)
The older lady working the counter (okay, I just cracked myself up, realizing how, when you're nearly 62 yourself, "older" becomes so relative!) picked up my first item, squinted, gave a cash register key a tap, and pushed enter. Then she said, "Uh-oh!" This, I thought, was not a good sign. She tapped a few more keys, hit a couple tallies, then tried to void the growing debacle, but I could tell by her sighs, lip puffs and crinkled brow that the situation had spiraled. She hailed another of the volunteers. She, too, pushed a few buttons, then declared it was time to call in the chief, who arrived within in a few moments.
"Hm," Ms. Manager said, as she listened--as though she'd heard this many times before, which I suspected she had--to the two women yammer at the same time about what went wrong and how they'd tried in vain to fix it. She waited till they wound down, then she smiled and pointed to a button. "Remember," she calmly said--as though she'd said this at least a thousand times before, which I suspect she had--"the CL button is our best friend." She pushed it once, and just like that, the entire mess was cleared.
After a couple bad attempts by my check-out "gal" to begin again, she said, "See! The same thing happens every time! I've got two cents there instead of two dollars!"
"That's because," Ms. Manager patiently responded with a pasted-on smile, "the machine is defaulted to insert a decimal after two digits, so you have to add enough zeros to get your two dollars." Then she looked at me. "I'd sure like to speak with whomever designed this thing!"
Eventually my purchases were tallied and paid for. But I couldn't stop thinking about the CL key being the check-out clerk's best friend. Where, I wondered, was MY CL key for my messy office, my misspoken words, my overbooked schedule? WHAT was MY best friend when it came to fixing my own mistakes?
As you can see by the above picture, I do have a favorite button on my keyboard, at which I spend a great deal of my life. A friend sent me that DUH key after The Book of Duh (celebrating those less-than-magic moments) released--which I (Duh!) wrote. Although the stick-on key doesn't electronically activate anything, tapping it does release my brain enough to help me laugh at myself, even though sometimes I have to tap it five times in a row before I finally lighten up. "DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH!" But before long, I once again come to grips with the fact that I am human.
Laughter. CL key. A good laugh at yourself. A head-bang. A quick prayer: "God, I did it AGAIN! HELP!" These "keys," Dear TwinkleGrammers, are our best sanity-saving friends. May you never leave home (or stay there) without them.
If you've got your own favorite mess-clearing device or procedure, give me a shout. I'll add a few of them into a "TwinkleGrammer Feedback" section I'd like to initiate, starting with the next issue. Until then, remember that the CL key is a good key to imagine yourself activating the next time your thoughts run amuck.
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NEW CONTEST
If, as of this writing, you're already a TwinkleGrammer, then you're ENTERED! In fact, maybe you've already WON, since to celebrate the release of my new book, I decided to hold a RANDOM DRAWING!
AND THE WINNER for a COMPLETE SET of Dearest Dorothy books IS . . . TA-DAH! . . . Cathy Erickson from Michigan!
I drew two more names, each who will receive my latest release, Dearest Dorothy, If Not Now, When?! THOSE WINNERS:
Maryanne Kain from New Jersey, and Carla Wilson from Ohio.
Congratulations to EVERYONE! The books will go out next week, as soon as I receive a confirmation to the private e-mail I sent each of you.
By the way, if you were a "Distract Your Big Toe" contest winner, the prizes went out two days ago. |
STARTING SEPTEMBER 25
I'LL BE BOOK TOURING!
Unless otherwise noted, the starting time listed for each event is the time I will be PRESENTING (and man, I can TALK!) about the series, concentrating on the new book, Dearest Dorothy, If Not Now, When?! And let me just say that things are really HOPPING in Partonville, so our time together is sure to be LIVELY!
For instance, it's election month and Acting Mayor Gladys McKern has her hands full. (Got a fun handout or two just to celebrate!) Katie and Jacob, well . . . I'm not telling. (Neener-neener.) The race is on to name the new mini-mall-IF it comes into being. And Pastor Delbert Carol revs up some trouble.
Pack up a carload and come say Howdy Ho! Check the website for any last-minute schedule changes.
SEE YA SOON!
Charlene
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OVERVIEW OF STOPS (details follow):
Glen Ellyn IL
Centralia IL
Mount Zion IL
Harrisburg IL
Savoy IL
Winona MN
Rochester MN
Oconomowoc WI
Carol Stream IL
Dayton OH
Naperville IL
Glen Ellyn IL
Milford IL
Harrisburg PA
DETAILS:
Tuesday, September 25th
GLEN ELLYN IL
7 PM
GLEN ELLYN PUBLIC LIBRARY
400 Duane Street
Glen Ellyn IL 60137
www.gepl.org
PHONE: 630-469-0879
Books to be sold by at the library by:
THE BOOK STORE
475 N. Main Street
Glen Ellyn IL
630-469-2891
Wednesday, September 28
CENTRALIA IL
(Private event)
Thursday, September 27
MOUNT ZION IL
7 PM
*FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH
Church event & book signing. Please contact church for more info.
720 West Main Street
Mt. Zion IL 62549
www.fbc-mtz.org
PHONE: 217-864-2052
Friday, September 28
HARRISBURG IL
6:30 PM
HARRISBURG DISTRICT LIBRARY
2 West Walnut Street
Harrisburg IL 62946
www.harrisburg.lib.il.us
PHONE: 618-253-7455
Books to be sold by:
THE BOOK EMPORIUM
313 Commercial Street
Harrisburg IL 62946
PHONE: 618-252-8022
Saturday, September 29
SAVOY IL
2 PM
PAGES FOR ALL AGES
1201 Savoy Plaza
Savoy IL 61874
www.pagesforallages.com
PHONE: 217-351-7243
Tuesday, October 2
WINONA MN
6:30 PM
PAPERBACKS AND PIECES
429 Mankato Avenue
Winona MN 55987
www.paperbacksandpieces.com
PHONE: 507-452-5580
Wednesday, October 3
ROCHESTER MN
*3 - 5 PM (Presentation and reading at 3:30)
CHRISTIAN BOOK & GIFT SHOP
815 Broadway
Rochester MN 55902
www.christbk.com
PHONE: 507-289-2590
Thursday, October 4
OCONOMOWOC WI
7 PM
BOOKS AND COMPANY
1039 Summit Avenue
Whitman Park Shopping Center
Oconomowoc WI 53066
www.booksco.com
PHONE: 262-567-0106
Monday, October 8
CAROL STREAM IL
7 PM
DUPAGE WRITERS GROUP
Carol Stream Public Library
616 Hiawatha Drive
Carol Stream IL 60188
http://www.dupagewritersgroup.org
PHONE: 630-653-0755
Tuesday, October 9
DAYTON OH
BOOKS & COMPANY
350 E. Stroop Road
Dayton OH 45429
www.booksandco.com
PHONE: 937-298-6540
Tuesday, October 16
NAPERVILLE IL
7 PM
ANDERSON'S BOOKSHOP
123 West Jefferson
Naperville IL 60540
www.andersonsbookshop.com
PHONE: 630-355-2665
Thursday, October 18
GLEN ELLYN IL
*GLEN ELLYN BOOK REVIEW CLUB (private event)
Saturday, October 20
MILFORD IL
1 PM - 3 PM
MILFORD DISTRICT LIBRARY
2 South Grand Avenue
Milford IL 60953
www.milford.lib.il.us
PHONE: 815-889-4722
Wednesday October 24
HARRISBURG PA
7 PM
BORDERS
5125 Jonestown Road
Harrisburg PA 17112
http://beta.bordersstores.com/online/store/StoreDetailView_380
PHONE: 717-541-9727
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Dearest Dorothy Audio and Large Print News
Dearest Dorothy, Merry Everything! is available in audio. Go Get It!
Dearest Dorothy, Help! I've Lost Myself! available in large print. Go Get It!
If these items are out of your budget, perhaps you can talk your library into stocking them. Better yet, maybe they already have them. Check it out! |
| ANNOUNCING: Our first FUN "TWINKLEGRAM SURVEY SAYS." This is one of Those Things I've grown curious about, so I've decided to test my theory. It has to do with your favorite season of the year. Just click this SURVEY LINK, and AWAY YOU'LL GO! |
| An IMPORTANT REMINDER . . .
"Forward email," "SafeUnsubscribe," "Update Profile/Email Address," etc. links are available at the bottom of this e-mail. Those are all hyperlinks for YOU (not me) to do those things. So, please keep a TwinkleGram handy so you can make changes, like, say, you get a new email address. The way I've set things up, it's WAAAAAY easier for YOU (not me) to handily manage your own subscription. Thanks! | |
Start Your Christmas Shopping EARLY! 
WHAT A DEAL! The Book of Duh , which originally released at $6 each + tax, is, for a limited time, obtainable in an "all-autographed DUH to the fifth power" package!
TWINKLEGRAMMERS ONLY: $15.00 (for FIVE books) plus $3.00 S&H (+ tax if you live in Illinois), which averages out to only $3.60 per book, direct to your DOOR!
The Book of Duh is a small book, measuring 6.5" by 5.5", 95 pages. It's more than a greeting card and less than a spendy gift. Perfect for hostess gifts, grab bags, thank yous and stocking stuffers. Duh stories, complete with illustrations, are relatable and laughter inducing. WONDERFUL!
ALL ORDERS WILL BE SHIPPED in EARLY NOVEMBER, so you have plenty of time to think about it. BUT, all orders must be placed by October 15th.
TO ORDER a five-book package: Just click the "PayPal pay now" button above the cover. If you are a registered PayPal member, you'll know what to do from there. If not, you simply register with PayPal (simple process) and you'll be offered a choice as to how to pay--which includes credit cards.
Click the "PayPal Pay Now" icon above the book cover to place your $18 order for five books, direct to your mailbox! If you'd like more than five (say you want ten), change the quantity (remember, though, each (1)=five) and "Update Totals" before continuing.
[NOTE: If you receive the TwinkleGram as "text only," the "PayPal Pay Now" either a) does not appear, or b) does not appear where you think it might. Please e-mail me for further instruction if you're lost, but be patient since I'm HEADING OUT ON A BOOK TOUR! And by the way, if you'd LIKE to receive the TG in its full living color, click on the "update profile" linke below and switch that option to html.]
OFFER GOOD WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! | |
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