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Conflict Resolution Newsletter
by Alternative Resolutions, LLC 


January  2012 - Vol 2, Issue 1
In This Issue
Company News & Recent Publications
Managing Face
Theory Applicaition Tips
Conflict Resolution Events
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 New website feature: our prior newsletters are now available on our website!!!
Company News and Recent Publications
 
New website feature:  our prior newsletters are now available on our website!!!
 
"How ADR Can Help You and Your Company" was published in the October newsletter of Snyder Cohn, CPAs and Business Advisors.  Email us for a copy at info@alternativeresolutions.net.

 

We're thrilled to announce some website changes featuring some new products and services that we have developed over the past year and a half.  The training page features information about two  new programs that we started.  One is a practical hands on negotiation workshop that we have offered at several universities and institutes.  The second is a full day listening skills class which explores this complex aspect of the communication process.  Healthcare business mediation is the new feature on the mediation page.

 

 
Greetings!

Ellen head shot blazer 

Happy New Year.  

 

Our lead article this month is about "managing face", the impression we give to others and how we would like to be viewed.  In conflict resolution mediators look for ways to allow parties to save face or rebuild their image in order to resolve a dispute.

 

 

 

Saving Face - Image Management and Conflict

 
 

 

Managing Face

Cosmetics are a $5.9 billion dollar industry in the US.  We  use beauty products to enhance our image and appearance.    Our face is our window on the world.   "Face" refers to one's image of self.  It includes who we think we are and how we perceive ourselves in all of our various roles.   When socializing and communicating with others we strive to support one another's face.   It involves creating and sustaining an identify for yourself as well as helping others whom you communicate with to sustain their self-image and impression.  So maintaining face is a cooperative process.

When an interpersonal conflict occurs one or more parties in the dispute often experience a loss of face.  This has multiple implications for conflict resolution.   First, people who have lost face may experience numerous emotions including shame, guilt or embarrassment.   Second,  the experience of losing face may result in a desire for revenge or retaliation.  So any person involved in resolving disputes must understand ways to manage and bolster face and repair it when there is damage.

Types of Face

Scholars who study this area identify two types of face.  Positive Face is the desire to be liked and respected.  For instance,  when someone expresses admiration for a person or values what they do or say then positive face is involved.     Autonomous Face is the desire for privacy, independence and recognition.   This kind of face is supported when a spouse recognizes their partner's need for downtime.  A request that impacts someone's independence or autonomy may effect this type of face. Sometimes these two different face needs can clash when loved ones make excessive demands on family members or when there isn't enough balance between these competing needs.  Ruth Abigail and Dudley Cahn in Managing Conflict Through Communication. Boston, MA: Pearson, 2011. 

              Facework  refers to the process by which people establish and maintain their impressions of themselves to others as well as supporting or denying the impressions that others are making. Ibid.  It consists of four separate but interconnected factors: The act, or what is said and done; the conversation-what is happening at the moment; the episode-how does this fit in the pattern of interactions with the other and the lifescript (who am I?).  These four factors are constantly changing as people interact with each other.

Preventative Facework refers to  strategies for avoiding  or minimizing threats to face.  These include:  standing in the other's shoes, accept the other's right to change her mind, avoidance of face threatening topics, use of disclaimers and qualifiers.  By disclaimers  we mean communication that softens the forcefulness of a message, i.e., "I don't want to sound bossy but I think you are seating in my place".

Supportive Facework consists of strategies that are consistent with the concept "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  People want to look good, be respected, feel secure and important.  So consider whether in your interactions with others you foster their positive impressions of themselves in your interactions.  Do you politely greet the security guard in the building you enter?  Do you treat a restaurant worker with respect? Do you try to make your office colleague feel valued and worthwhile when you ask them to do a task for you?

Corrective Facework  refers to strategies and statements designed to repair the effect of face-threatening messages.  Checking on your perceptions is one way of managing impressions.   Another strategy is offering an explanation.  Both of these tactics help assure that the person receiving your messages doesn't misconstrue them.  If the issue is minor disregarding the statement may be an option.  However, if such comments are continually ignored they can create a bigger conflict.  When an individual  experiences a hurtful situation and has lost face there is a keenly felt need for an explanation of the offense  and some kind of remedy.  The remedy can consist of an account or explanation of the offensive behavior or hurtful statements or conduct.   The offender may offer excuses, justifications or an apology.  An apology is the most restorative corrective facework strategy.

Next month:  Conflict strategies

Theory Application TIPS

Consider the following tips to address issues of face and impression management:

  • Preventing Loss of Face
    Treat others the way you want to be treated
     
    Stand in the other's shoes
     
    Use disclaimers
     
    Ask others to withhold judgment
  •  Supporting Another's Face
     
    Look for opportunities to find common ground
     
    Find out how you can support another person
     
    Learn what someone values or feels is important and find ways to support  those interests
  • Taking Corrective Action when Loss of Face Experienced
    Request an explanation for hurtful comments or conduct
    C
    onsider offering an explanation and possibly an apology  
Conflict Resolution in the Community:  Upcoming Events
 

 

 

January 26, 2012 - "How to Handle Conflict Effectively", Rockville Chamber of Commerce; Rockville, MD

 

 

February 20, 2012 - "Understanding Conflict Strategies", Howard County Collaborative Professionals, Inc., Columbia, MD

 

 

We look forward to being your partners in productive, proactive conflict resolution endeavors. If you are a new reader or didn't request a copy previously please email us for a free copy of our organizational needs assessment.  Put your organization in a conflict healthy environment.

Sincerely,

Ellen

Ellen F. Kandell, Esq.
Alternative Resolutions, LLC