Leaving a Legacy

Whenever we think of someone who has left a Legacy behind, influential people often come to mind.  It's easy for most of us to associate George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, or Dr. Martin Luther King with Legacies of freedom.  Mother Teresa, Oprah Winfrey, and Princess Diana might be mentioned if we were thinking of people who have built a Legacy for charitable works.

I think it is important to realize that we don't have to be famous, highly influential, or possess exceptional skills to leave a Legacy.

When I think of ordinary individuals who have a left a Legacy, I immediately think of Cal Ripken Jr.   Ripken is known as baseball's Iron Man - Ripken broke Lou Gehrig's record for most consecutive games played. As Ripken was chasing Gehrig's record, some critics claimed that he had no business breaking Gehrig's record - they said he wasn't as good as Gehrig.  That he couldn't hit for the high batting average or hit the homers, that Ripken couldn't tie Gehrig's shoes.  When interviewed, Ripken agreed.  He said the critics were right, "I'm just an average man, I have only average talent."  He went on to say that it was his dream to have this record and if capable, he intended to do it.  And he did.  He showed up and went to work each and every day.  The individual components of his performance may have seemed average or ordinary, but the sum total of his work added up to something extra-ordinary. He has left an indelible Legacy in the baseball world.

Most of us remember Bob Hope. For 60 years, he performed on radio and television. Hope started out as a stand-up comedian and went on to have his own variety show. He was cited by the "Guinness Book of Records" as the most honored entertainer in the world. Hope collected more than 2000 awards and citations for humanitarian and professional efforts, including 54 honorary doctorates. But in the US, Bob Hope is most loved and most remembered for his unwavering commitment to America's service men and women. For nearly 60 years, he and his band of fellow entertainers traveled around the globe entertaining the troops.  Bob Hope worked a lifetime doing what he loved. He left a legacy of caring behind.

Some of you will be convinced that you don't have even an average talent, or a passion for a particular cause with which to create a Legacy.

Then let me offer an example of a person who had less than ordinary abilities and yet managed to leave a Legacy.  That person was my older sister, Vera.  It was a family habit to tease her.  We told her she couldn't sing, and we begged her not to try.  She sang anyway.  She was a beautician for more than 50 years, but we seldom let her cut our hair.  We had a number of really excellent cooks in the family, so we never asked Vera to cook for us, but she cooked anyway.  We hid our favorite clothes because she seemed to have a knack for bleach-burning laundry.  To put it nicely, she was like the "All in the Family" character, Edith Bunker.  She wasn't able to make good life management decisions, so she and her husband lived with our parents, and after they died, she lived with me and my family.  She suffered from dementia over the last decade of her life and retreated into her own little world.  When she passed away, I decided that I wanted to give her eulogy and somehow explain her essence to family members who didn't know her before the dementia.  I was still struggling with what to say on the morning of the funeral, when my daughter Christy arrived with her friend Angie.

Angie and Christy had been friends since high school and she knew my sister before the illness robbed her of her personality.  We began to recall our "batty Aunt Vera" stories.  Angie reminded us of the day she first met my sister, the day Christy first brought Angie home.  She said they ran in after school so that Christy could change clothes.  Christy introduced Angie and then ran down the hall to her bedroom, calling back to my sister: "Auntie, we're hungry!"  Vera got out of her chair, took Angie, by the hand, and said, "come with me, honey, Auntie is going to fix you a nice turkey sandwich."  I was at the sink washing dishes as Angie repeated this story. In my mind, I could hear my sister's voice, how she would have mispronounced sandwich, how everything was "nice."  I recalled all the "nice" sandwiches, cups of tea, slices of her blueberry tea cake we had been offered, over all those years.  I remembered how we teased her, how we would ask, "What made them nice? Where did she keep the mean ones?"  I could see her shaking her head, ignoring us, and serving us anyway.  I realized that my sister had taken this young girl into our home and made her feel so welcome that Angie could remember the very words that were spoken to her, more than 15 years after the event.  And I'm telling you this story with tears sliding down my face as I remember my sister's Legacy of love.

My challenge to each of you now:

Go out into your world, do whatever it is that you love to do, and do it your own way, with your own style. Trust that someone will appreciate it.  Leave your own special Legacy.

5 & 1/2 Ways to Enjoy November!

1) Hot Apple Cider -  It's a wonderful way to warm up on a brisk autumn day.  Make your own or pick up a quart at the grocery store.  Heat and serve with a cinnamon stick.

2) Thanksgiving - We all go home for it, if only in our minds.  This year, start some new holiday traditions and honor the old ones.  Make the day and the week as festive as you can. 

Someday, you'll look back on Thanksgiving 2010 with a smile!

3) Help Others - As you plan your own holiday celebration, please remember the folks who aren't so fortunate.  Look up a local shelter or organization that feeds the hungry and make a donation.  They will be happy to accept food, money, or your assistance.