Relationships First, Tricks Second
by Kathy Petefish, MS, MSW, CPDT
Relationships first, tricks second. Simply put, this means waiting to let the kids do tricks with your dog until they have shown you and your dog they are trustworthy and safe.
Think of it this way: Would you want to have a new person at work who you haven't met come in and tell you to make 100 copies asap for them? You don't know who they are and they haven't even told you their name before they are asking you to do something that benefits only them, not you. In a way, this is what it is like for your dog. Your dog is being asked to do something to 
benefit the kids before he/she has even had a chance to learn about them.
The primary thing we really want to teach the kids is to view animals as having feelings, intentions, motivations and desires of their own. Then it becomes about teaching the child reciprocity and give and take in their relationships with your dog.
What we don't want to teach them is that your dog is just another toy or item that is a resource for them to enjoy when they want and to discard when they are finished. This can happen if we try to too hard to amuse the children or let them have too much freedom to do things with our dogs before they do the work to earn your dog's trust, which means learning about their body language, what makes them happy, what is the best voice tone to use when talking to them, brushing, etc.
Skills are a great thing for children to learn and it is very empowering for them when your dog will sit or lay down at their request. It only deepens the impact when they are asked to earn the right to do this with your dog. If you have questions or would like activity suggestions on building relationships, please contact Kathy or Patti.
