There is a lot of information available on the topic of customer service; I myself offer training on the topic, a portion of which addresses the matter of interacting with unhappy customers.

But what happens when you are the customer and have the complaint? How you express your concern and upset can sometimes have an effect on how the matter is resolved and will definitely impact the impression you make on others.

As email has become such a part of our lives, many people choose to send off a written missive expressing their displeasure rather than pick up the telephone and attempt to actually reach a live person at a customer service desk. However, keep in mind that one of the drawbacks of email is that it does not express emotions; to compensate, writers will sometimes italicize, boldface or CAPITALIZE words for emphasis.

For example, the following is an excerpt of a complaint received via email:

"I did NOT receive a "tech-shirt". I received a t-shirt. I would NOT have spent extra money to receive a t-shirt, I only wanted to spend money on a "TECH SHIRT"! Honestly, I feel ripped off and mislead and I will NOT participate in any other runs put on by (company name) because of this. This is misleading and should be changed immediately!"

I would like to note that the business owner who received this email replied in a very friendly, professional manner and was happy to refund this person's $12.00. He questioned, however, why people find it necessary to yell (capitalize), threaten and say things in a complaint that they would, in all likelihood, not say to his face.

Good points, all.

When you find it necessary to express a complaint or concern to an individual, company or organization, may I suggest the following:

• Begin with a soft approach. "May I ask for your help with a problem?" often works well; you are making this a team effort.
• Admit when you are wrong, don't know or have made a mistake. I have had a company (or two) immediately move to fix things because I said I was at fault, rather than trying to blame them. They appreciated the honesty!
• Express your points clearly and succinctly and have a resolution or two in mind.
• Listen to what is said to you (if it is a verbal conversation). Don't assume you know what the response is going to be as you will tune out.
• Don't form a rebuttal or response in your mind while the person is talking. If necessary, take notes.
• Before sending off an email, read it aloud. Is it something you would feel comfortable saying to someone's face? If not, it probably needs some reworking.