Many people never see the fruit of their labour because they don't give what it takes. They don't go from vision to reality and they don't
take responsibility for it. In other words, they lack self-mastery, which combines goals, will power and focus, with a positive attitude and emotional discretion. And, as long as the satisfaction of achieving it does not exceed the pain of not doing it, your intentions, plans and goals amount to nought.
When you have self-mastery you are more likely to be, and to feel, in control of your life. If, however, you feel like 'things always happen to you', then perhaps you need to examine four key areas of self-mastery.
1. Goals
What is your vision? I have met people who know they don't want to be where they are right now. But, when asked where they would rather be, they say they don't know.
Every day is like an opportunity to step out the door. Which way you turn depends on where you want to go. And the clearer the destination, the easier it is to move forwards calmly and confidently.
2. Attitude and Emotion
All of us 'lose it' sometimes. And all of us feel less positive some days more than others. But if you are constantly in a horrible mood, and constantly feeling like life isn't fair, then it is no wonder that you feel your life is spiralling out of control. How to take charge of this?
Showing gratitude is a great way of focusing on the positive things in life, and there are many. Make a habit of finding something different to be grateful for every day. And as you progress on your journey of self-discovery (see Idea to Action Newsletter, Issue 86), you will find you get better at being aware of other people's needs and emotions, as well as your own. Self-mastery means a heightened awareness of others, making sure that your emotions don't negatively impact them.
3. Willpower
Willpower pushes you forward to take action, even if you're feeling scared or hesitant. It keeps you moving towards your goals. I like to talk of trade-offs: As long as being in your situation now is less painful than changing, you will continue to make excuses for not doing things differently. And because you don't do things differently, your life will not change for the better. If you are really serious about wanting a different life, then you must accept the pain of the effort required to get it.
Having both rational and emotional motives for what you want to achieve will help boost your willpower. . For example, if your goal is to save money, a rational motive could be that it will protect you against unexpected expenses, while an emotional one could be that you will gain the respect of your family for being able to provide consistently.
Read more at www. mindtools.com
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