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Idea to Action

 - a newsletter for people who want to design the lives and  small business they really want

Issue 71

10  May 2012

 

  Greetings!  ,

 

 

 

Over the years I have found great revelation in interrogating my actions and behaviour. This path of personal inquiry is as rewarding, daunting, and revelatory as it is boundless. I have found that honest and consistent investigation of my personal patterns, stories and behaviours is a key to breaking out of ruts and  choices that do not serve my highest potential.

It began with consistently asking myself 'How did I get to this? How did I contribute to this situation?' These questions apply to both positive and negative situations, but it is in the latter that I continue to glean my most compelling lessons.

 

 

Regards,Jaki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Jaki Wasike-Sihanya, Idea to Action Coach

 

CLC Certificate 

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IN THIS ISSUE
FINGER LIMIT
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
RESPONSIBLE BUSINESS PRACTICES - BUSINESS IDEA TO ACTION
Quick Links

 

Resources

 

Group Coaching

 

Teen Camp 2012

 

Start with a Vision and Get the Job

 

www.lifeskills-coaching.com 

 

 

FINGER LIMIT
Idea to Action quote:   When you are looking in the mirror, you are looking at the problem. But, remember, you are also looking at the solution. - Anonymous

 

  

When you point a finger at someone, the saying goes, four fingers point at yourself. In other parlance, it is about trying to remove the speck of dust in your brother's eyes while ignoring the log in your own.

 

In essence, it is about accusing someone of being responsible for something bad that has happened, to the extent that you don't stop to consider your own role in the incident. Yet, as long as a situation involves you, you contribute to it in one way or another.

 

The more you point to external reasons for your mistakes, the more you won't learn from those mistakes, meaning your ability to grow and become more effective is hindered. And now research   has shown that blaming others is contagious, so if you are passing the buck, and everyone around you is doing the same, then you are cast in an environment where no learning is happening, and so a vicious cycle of blame and counter blame is created.

 

In the book Pride and Prejudice, Darcy is confronted by life's difficulties, many of which he precipitated in the first place. Fortunately, he responds positively by taking personal responsibility for his behaviour. He does this by acknowledging his character flaws and misdeeds. As a result, his shift in attitude sets in motions a series of events that end up resolving a critical problem, while winning over the love of his life. In that process, he grows as an individual, which is in fact what ultimately attracts Eliza Bennet to marriage.

 

Throughout our lives, we are confronted by external pressures. It is how we react to them that determines our level of accomplishment in life. Those who take responsibility when problems arise - perceiving their own limitation or weakness relative to the problem - accomplish greatly. Those who blame others or simply ignore difficulties to begin with, stagnate and achieve less.

 

Another important reason to look at your won contribution to negative situations is this: when you realise your complicity in a negative outcome and become accountable for it, life tends to quickly move in your favour.

 

How can you move to this realisation? It begins with asking yourself: "how have I contributed to this situation?"

 

Your spouse leaves 'everything' to you? How have you contributed?

Your children are rude, demotivated, and lazy? How have you contributed?

You are lowly paid and constantly broke? How are you contributing?

You have gained weight and 'cannot' lose it? How are you contributing?

Your friends and family expect you to be 'always' available? How have you contributed?

You are stuck in a dead end job with a boss who does not value you? How have you contributed?

 

Unlikely as it may seem, there is always a way in which you contribute to being in any situation, and your awareness of this points you to what you can control. What you can control you can change.

 

This brings us to another reason why asking how you contribute matters: you realise that you are not responsible for others' feelings, reasoning or behaviour; therefore you cannot control how others will behave or react.

 

Taking on responsibility for what you are not responsible for is just as limiting as not taking responsibility where you should. And distinguishing between what you are responsible for, and what you are not, starts with asking yourself 'how have I contributed to this situation?' 

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

 

   

From Idea to Action Book

 

 

 

Creative Leadership Conversations

(coaching approaches for personal and community development)

 

In collaboration with Coaching the Global Village 

WHEN: May 25th and 26th

WHERE: Gracia Gardens, Dennis Pritt Rd

 

FEES: 35,000/- PP.

 

Includes meals and workshop materials

 

 

Start with a Vision and get the Job

WHEN: TBA

 

Be Your Teens Career Coach

WHEN: TBA

 

 

 

 

 

Click Book review

BUSINESS IDEA TO ACTION - RESPONSIBLE BUSINESS PRACTICES

Small Business tip of the week

 

The obligations of businesses and other organisations are no longer seen in isolation from the communities in which they operate, the employees they depend upon, the environment from which they draw their resources and the marketplace in which they participate - Rosemary Sainty

 

http://thehub.ethics.org.au/what/

 

There's no consensus for defining responsible business practices. The term, however, often refers to the practice of conducting business with consideration for ethical, environmental and community goals in addition to being a good employer and attempting to make a profit.

In the day-to-day operations of the company, responsible business practices could apply to several areas.

 

http://www.mnn.com/money/sustainable-business-practices/stories/responsible-business-practices