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Idea to Action

 - a newsletter for people who want to design the lives and  small business they really want

Issue 69

26 April  2012

 

 

 Greetings!  ,

 

We all  have a voice that repeatedly tells us things, and sometimes these things  keep us stuck in the same habits. This is the voice of our gremlin, that mythical creature that keeps us entrenched in our comfort zone.

 When you are confronted with teenage behaviour this gremlin will have you believing you cannot handle it. 

 

Today I reflect on how this gets in the way of parenting your teen.

 

 

 

Regards,Jaki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Jaki Wasike-Sihanya, Idea to Action Coach

 

CLC Certificate 

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IN THIS ISSUE
FREE YOURSELF TO GIFT YOUR TEEN
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Getting ready to Start your own business? - BUSINESS IDEA TO ACTION
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FREE YOURSELF TO GIFT YOUR TEEN
Idea to Action quoteWe worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she/he  is someone today - Stacia Tauscher
 
  

The term "gremlin", denoting a mischievous creature that sabotages aircraft, originates in Royal Air Force slang in the 1920s. Gremlins were responsible for otherwise inexplicable accidents which sometimes occurred during flights. In coaching terms, a gremlin is a habit that stops people from achieving their goals in business or life. Gremlins are also known as the inner critic, negative self talk or negative fantasizing. Gremlins are the keepers of the status quo. They love to keep you locked in your comfort zone and they are experts at blocking you from reaching (and sometimes even seeing) your greatest potential.

 

When your teen distances himself from you, your gremlin tells you "you cannot manage his moods", and so you keep away, making the gap wider. When your teen acts up your gremlin tells you "she is impossible to manage" and you retreat into self-righteous world and leave her alone to navigate the twin confusions of wanting to belong while desiring to be independent. When your teen shouts hateful words at you the gremlin says "you have been provoked! Shout back, punish". And so you do, and send them a message that you do not love or respect them, even when that is not true.

 

Gremlins love to act out your worst fears. When it comes to teens, you are  vulnerable because it is a confusing time for them, and you will be questioning your parenting skills more than ever. They can act weird, and bring back  memories and emotions from your own childhood. If these memories and emotions are not pleasant it makes it harder for you to parent your teen effectively.

 

Still, you can break the cycle.

 

Awareness of what informs and influences your parenting style is the first step to breaking the cycle. Parenting is a journey fraught with trial and error. And as we navigate the roads as parents we carry along our baggage as individuals.

 

How does this baggage get in the way of your seeing the signs and taking the right direction? How much is this baggage weighing you down? You can only think of how tired you are and so have no energy to spare for your teenager. To what extent is this baggage reflected in your parenting style? How willing are you to do something differently so that teenage become an enlightening journey for you and your teen, rather than self defeating conflict?

 

We are free to create the life we want, regardless of where we come from. And in the process of healing, creating, and thriving, we gift our children with not having to deal with our wounds, baggage and pain, and free them up to live an amazingly brilliant life. They get to be free too.

 

So don't let that gremlin tell you "teens are impossible". Take a step to free yourself today.

  

 CALENDAR OF EVENTS

 

   

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BUSINESS IDEA TO ACTION - Getting Ready to Start your own business?

Small Business tip of the week

 

Are you thinking of starting your own business? Congratulations! Starting a new business is both exciting and rewarding, and it is also full of challenges. You should not underestimate the level of commitment that you will need.

The success of your business will partly depend on your attitude and skills. This means being honest about a range of issues - your knowledge, your financial status and the personal qualities that you can bring to your new business. To increase your chances of succeeding in your business it is a good idea to develop an understanding of what it means to run your own business, as well as reflect on your personal and business skills. Read more here