1. People are different. This is obvious right? We have different parents, unique names, different upbringing...yet how often are you upset when people take a different view, or make different choices because they have different values? Accept that they are different, why should they do things like you? You are not doing things like them!
2. It's hard to change people. Don't count on people to change. They may change by following someone's example, or by seeing some great benefit to their lifestyle, and that's not up to you. The only one you can change is you.
3. Telling people not to worry doesn't help. Worry is natural. Saying "don't worry" seldom helps. It is more useful to suggest positive action on something within their control.
4. You are not responsible for adults in your life. Give adults that you care for love, help, compassion, empathy, together with explicit knowledge that you are not assuming their responsibilities. If you keep assuming other adult's responsibilities, it's likely they will not take charge of their own lives. And how great is that?
5. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to stop and say, 'this isn't working', 'I made a mistake,' 'I am not sure any more',' I want something different'. It means you can move forward in another direction.
6. Learning doesn't stop. Every situation is an opportunity to learn. Opening yourself up for the lessons removes pressure to conform. You can take the learning or you may not. That's another story.
7. Just because you are related doesn't mean you are friends. All relationships need work, especially relationships among adults, whoever they are to you. You can always reach out first.
8. Find your niche. Even when we have similar talents, we do not use them the same way. It makes sense to express your talent in your unique way. It is easier for you to succeed that way. You do not have to be in competition with anyone else.
9. See and smell the roses. I love the poem that starts 'What is this life, if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare'. Not every moment has to be serious and accounted for by some great accomplishment. The spirit needs to be nourished and this is often done by small moments of letting go, of being a child again, of silence and stillness, of being at one with nature.
10. It's okay to cry. A nutritionist wrote that diarrhoea is the body's way of getting rid of toxins, and we should just take care to rehydrate. I think the same about crying. It's the body's way of releasing strong emotions, which, unchecked, can become toxic. So if you feel like crying, go ahead and cry.
