A friend, whom I have known for 31 years, passed away on Saturday 14^th

May.

As often happens when a loved one dies, you go into reflection and introspection.  You ask why now? You relive your last moments together. You wish you had had a sign so that you tell them how much you care.  Maybe ask them what you can do for them when they are gone. And, sometimes, as you go through that process, you realise there were signs.  You didn't recognise them for what they were. You didn't have the courage to follow through.

I would like to share some practical tips to help you keep in touch with friends that you don't see often. Not because you don't care; because the reality of our lives is such that you  cannot  see or speak to  your friends as often as you used to when you were younger, at school or university, following a similar timetable, or when you were single, without children. Or when you didn't have this job ... 

You can create a system that makes it easier to keep in touch regularly, and to know when special attention is called for.

So here are some things I have been thinking about, in no particular order:

1.        Follow your instinct. If a friend pops into your head 'out of nowhere, for no reason' there is a reason. Find it. If a friend who normally calls regularly fails to do so, be the one to call. If a friend normally responds to missed calls, emails and SMS and they fail to, follow up with another call, go find them, or ask someone who might know if there is anything going on.

2.        Make a plan to call at least one friend at the same time on a certain day.  Rotate friends that you call.  Make it a catching up phone call, as you want to know what is happening in their lives. If distance allows, create some occasions in your calendar for catching up with friends, and follow through.

3.        Share information within your mutual friend network.  This will help all of you watch over each other. Even when friends are busy away from each other, they can make time for a special visit if they know that a situation calls for it.

4.        Include friends in your regular prayer list.  Just make a list of their names and ask God to watch over them.

5.        Let your family know which friends need to be notified in certain situations, and make contact details available for that purpose.

6.        Get to know your friend's family, and let them know they can call you when the situation calls for it.

And today, call a friend you haven't spoken to in a while, because you still can.