A MESSAGE FROM
THE GLOBAL PARTNERS GROUP
Eli's Story:
Playing with the Big Dogs
I have a two-year-old Westie named Eli. He is a fantastic ball retriever. He actually brings the ball back when you throw it. He is also very fast and fearless so I am considering enrolling him in agility class.
I took him to a dog park, which is fenced in with lots of room to run. He loves these trips and vibrates with excitement when he knows we're going. He is extremely social and anticipates getting to see old friends and new friends.
On this particular day there were 10 dogs in the small dog area. He was ecstatic and bounced around saying hi to everyone. After about 15 minutes, I pulled out the tennis ball and threw it for him to fetch. Three Welsh Corgis decided to run after the ball as well. Eli beat them all but as he was turning with the ball in his mouth, one of the corgis twice his size nipped at him so he dropped the ball. This happened three different times until finally it didn't matter if the Corgis were around or not, Eli would not chase the ball. This was conditioned behavior from psychology 101. Now I was going to have to recondition him to fetch the ball again.
I couldn't help but think of distributors who like Eli, had two or three negative experiences and totally threw in the towel. Maybe it was three rejections to an opportunity invitation or maybe it was ridicule by three friends who thought they had lost their mind. What makes some people more resilient than others? Maybe it's stronger beliefs, stronger constitution or tougher skin. Most people are strongly motivated by other's approval. How do we break this debilitating need for approval?
I can tell you what worked for me - two things. First, I transferred my focus to those people who had achieved what I was trying to achieve. I set my goal to gain their respect and stop worrying about everyone else. "The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude." Arnold Glassow Secondly, I made rejection a part of the process. I made success picking up the telephone and thereby was able to count even the no's as success.
I conditioned myself with small successes, creating new habits & beliefs by breaking them into pieces. For example, you begin to exercise 15 minutes three days a week by walking around the block. Eventually you increase to 30 minutes and eventually you increase the days. It is the same with weight loss. First you eliminate a bad food three days a week and eventually you eliminate it altogether. Then you go through the same process with a second food.
I set a goal to make so many contacts each day. In the beginning it was a small number. I consistently reminded myself just making the contact was the goal, the success. Every week or so, I would increase the number of contacts each day until I overcame my fear of rejection and truly accepted it as part of the road to success.
So, what will I do about Eli? Well, we will start fetching the ball short distances in the house. Then we'll try the yard, then the park when the corgis or not there. But we will not give in to fear conditioning. And if you want to be successful you can't give in either.
Just as Mark Twain said, "Courage is not the absence of fear but the mastery of fear". Starting today, Eli is going to begin to master his fear.
Ambassador - Florida, USA
