In their attempt to assist us on our journey to freedom, mystical traditions teach that the source of human suffering is attachment. The goal is freedom, the obstacle is attachment, and the byproduct of attachment is suffering.
Most of us know what suffering is - we all experience it to some degree or another during our lives. Look around, turn on the news, it's easy to see... so many people in pain. These days it's almost epidemic. Some is physical, yes, but mostly the pain is emotional. It reminds me of the Beatle's song, Eleanor Rigby ("Ah, look at all the lonely people...").
This suffering is, at its core, a spiritual issue. Some is obvious, most is subtle and subversive.
Obvious: challenges such as job loss, divorce, health issues, natural disasters, war
Subtle: inner turmoil, conflict - such as Ms. Rigby's loneliness
We know suffering, but what is this thing called attachment? It is important to explore the hidden ways we cause our own pain; we will not have serenity until we remove that which is in its way.
Consider that whenever you're suffering, you're attached. The bad news: it hurts. The good news: your pain can point you in the direction of wholeness, if you listen. The universe (God) is trying to get our attention to show us the places we need to grow. Unless we are growing intentionally and appropriately, pain is the only means of communication.
What are some of the things we get attached to that cause emotional/spiritual distress? There are an infinite number, but here are a few to give you food for thought. Feel free to add to the list. Note: these things of themselves are not the problem; it is our attachment to them that is.
Feelings
From a place of serenity, feelings will come and go. We're human, we are meant to have them. It is our addiction to them that causes our suffering: we don't just have them, we become them. Look to see if there are any you hold onto for long periods of time (negative), or any you keep trying to recapture (positive).
Negative: disappointment, concern, chaos, drama, anger, resistance, resentment, resignation, loneliness
Positive: love, comfort, security, happiness, romance, "high"
Needs
In serenity, needs are few and far between (imagine that!), and on a scale of 1-10 they don't go above a four. From fear, needs are heightened (suffering), and they cause us to act in ways that are unproductive in relationship to others/life (added suffering).
To be right
To be wanted
To have importance (status, superiority, being needed)
To control, be in control
For validation (attention, acceptance, approval)
To be comfortable, secure, maintain status quo
Fears
Fear is also something people get attached to. It shows up in many forms, such as fear of rejection, abandonment, failure, sorrow, change, uncertainty, loss.
For more on fear see
- Newsletter: Fear vs Freedom
- Blog: http://theawarenessstudio.com/blog/
Objects
Last but not least, we get attached/addicted to people, places, and things. Some symptoms to look for: fearing the loss of something, having to have something, needing things to be a certain way, chronic upset or anxiety.
People (family, friends, a former love we can't let go of, current loved one, future loved one)
Things (pets, cars, homes, jobs)
Situations (neg: challenging/abusive relationships, pos: the happiness of the honeymoon phase)
Beliefs (about self, life, God, others)
Whew! That's a lot to take in. I know. But I am here because I want you to know that there is a way out.
What's the antidote? Detachment! If suffering comes from attachment, then serenity (freedom from suffering) is detachment. I like to say that trying to control people, life, events and outcomes is like being codependent with God (control = attachment). On the other hand, detachment is the ability to flow with the river of life, to accept things as they are, and respond versus react. This only happens from a place of power.
I will explore detachment in my next newsletter. For now, if you're up for it, I suggest that you practice noticing any suffering you are experiencing/have experienced and the attachments that might be causing it.
To be continued....
