The spiritual group I belong to has a saying, "Our acceptance of others is a measure of our acceptance of ourselves."

Recently, I began to notice just how true this is. Whenever I felt upset about something (in other words, not accepting), it always had a core component of lack of self-acceptance, or worse, self-loathing. The more I looked around me, the more I saw this to be true with my clients (and others) as well.

Our access to freedom and power is based in our Certainty of Self.

How strong is your sense of self? Your upsets will tell you.

How often do you find yourself feeling hurt, angry, irritated, etc. by other people and life situations? Notice when you are not accepting a situation, person, or thing. What is it saying about you? What are you making it mean about you?

For example, when a loved one, co-worker, friend, or family member does something you don't like, something you find upsetting, look beneath the surface. Usually, it's triggering a core fear - the thing we least like about ourselves. Does it make you feel unlovable? Ashamed? Not valued? Not good enough? Then explore the places you don't love yourself. Does it make you feel controlled or disrespected? Explore your fear of losing power with others.

More often than not, as you look deeper, you will see that the core of all upsets is based in a lack of acceptance of self. The way to strengthen that is to notice. Notice, notice, notice. Don't judge. Accept the non-acceptance. Question the non-acceptance. Then things will begin to change, and you will begin to strengthen, and the stronger you are, the fewer the upsets!