July Newsletter

My husband Jerry and I recently returned from a wonderful vacation in the Colorado mountains. While we were there, we attended the annual convention for a group we belong to called Couples Coaching Couples.

The topic this year was World Class Couple. I was so inspired, and it has made such a difference in my relationship with Jerry, that I wanted to share this concept with you.

I think you'll find this month's message exciting and inspiring.

Here's to World Class Couple for you!

Being a World Class Couple isn't a common experience. Most relationships are either in survival mode or on autopilot. There are the lucky few who get it right without having to work at it, but most of us are challenged in the love department as evidenced by soaring divorce rates. Notice how many conversations, articles, even movies focus on negative aspects of relationships, or they simply gloss it over with "nicey-nicey" reports.

I'm here to say, "Thank God! It doesn't have to be that way. Your life can be different today!" Yes, most any relationship can flourish if you know what to do.

Couple
First, let's define Couple. Couple with a big C is a third entity that is created by two people who come together with the intent of creating a powerful partnership. Each person promises to be 100% responsible for the care and feeding and success of the Couple and they act according to that commitment.

Because most people haven't ever really explored the concept of Couple in quite this way, there are a lot of misconceptions about it. Many think that if they call themselves a couple, if they're cohabitating, even if they're married, then they're a couple. But I say, if you're not acting as a Couple, in partnership, both focused on the quality and future of the relationship, then you're not really a couple. It's just "playing house". Too many individuals stay separate even inside what they call a couple relationship. So Couple with a capital C is a new way of looking at your primary relationship that provides a powerful connection and a much more rewarding and fulfilling outcome.

World Class
World Class. What's that? Explore for yourself by looking at who's on your All-Star list of celebrities, athletes, companies and professionals. What makes them world class? They're high-performing, high quality, consistent, focused, powerful and successful.

How do they get there (and stay there)? They study, train, practice, hire coaches, work with mentors, and are accountable a Board of Directors. They do on-going, in-depth research. They upgrade skills, products, procedures and results regularly. They try new ways of doing things. They are open and public about their goals, performance, and desire to be great. Their success makes a difference for others, and they know it.

So, take a look around you. Who in your life does this in their couple? Do you do this in yours? What would your relationship be like if you did?

World Class Couple
Since every couple is different, every couple defines what world class is for them. Becoming world class, staying world class a process. It impacts all areas of your life together. World Class Couples take on finances, intimacy, partnership, communication, parenthood, spirituality, careers, household chores, extended family, health, and more. Together, they make sure they're growing and maintaining integrity in all of those areas. And World Class Couples know the importance and power of community, so they use their strength and connection to reach out to others, including other couples.

Sound too good to be true?
I imagine that for some of you this might seem rather pie-in-the-sky, but I can assure you that it's very do-able. I personally know a lot of World Class Couples, and my husband and I work on bringing that to our relationship, too.

This isn't about perfection. Olympic athletes have bad days and rough seasons. The best companies have down quarters and difficult years. It's not possible to be "on", at your best, and moving up all the time. It is possible to hold an intention for being great, and it is possible to strive to be the best you can be, love as much as you can, and express that love in big ways.

If you're already there, congratulations! You're one of a growing number of couples committed to making great relationships happen.

If you're not in a couple but this all sounds good to you, then preparing yourself to be World Class is a key ingredient to attracting the right partner into your life.

If, on the other hand, you notice that you're saying to yourself something like, "yeah, right" as you read this article, you might want to look at what's underneath your resignation. Many times it's a sign of past hurts that are unresolved, sadness for the loves that didn't work, a lack of good relationship role models, or something similar. If you ask your heart what it really, really wants, and your answer is "world class couple or something like it," I encourage you to push through. Go for the gold!

Sound like too much work? Too hard?
Getting unstuck from old, unproductive relationship patterns can take effort, that is true, but over time it gets easier and easier and the rewards are tremendous. I promise. It's like going to the gym. If you've never been before, five pounds can seem like too much to lift at first. Eventually, with practice, consistency and focus, you'll find yourself gaining strength. Next thing you know, you're up to 50-75-100 pounds, and you've forgotten those five pound days.

If World Class Couple seems out of reach, just start wherever you are and work to move up. If you're crawling, learn to walk. If the tricycle has become comfortable, get some training wheels for the big bike. If you're great at driving cars, go for the jet. Even if you don't think you could ever get there, is that any reason not to try? Remember: progress, not perfection.

World Class Help
It really helps to have a community on your side - it's much easier than trying to go this alone. There are organizations designed to support the Couple journey. Here are some that I'm aware of.

www.couplescoachingcouples.org

Unlock the mystery of finding True Love!