A Word (or Two) about The Secret
The movie The Secret is all the rage these days. We've heard about it through Larry King, Oprah, and Ellen, to name a few. Friends and family have loaned us their copies, we've visited the site and purchased our own. It's a regular part of everyday conversation recently. And there's reason for it - the teaching is helpful, it reminds us that we are responsible for our lives, gives us hope for a better future, and puts the power back in our hands. But it doesn't always work, and I thought you would want to know why.
As a coach, I've been teaching the law of attraction for many years. And I've been using it on my own for even longer. What I've learned over time is that there's more to it than meets the eye. If the universe is our genie in a bottle and our every wish is its command, then why haven't we all won the lottery? Or gotten everything we've ever wanted?
Maybe it's because we're not supposed to.
There are two aspects to consider when it seems that The Secret isn't working. First, you're in a game of David vs Goliath. You're employing the conscious mind to control the unconscious mind. According to one psychologist I know, these are the size of a garden pea compared to the size of a planet. Because of this inherent imbalance of power, there are times you can't just think and feel your way into a new situation.
Take for example, a love relationship. Many of us, myself included, have drawn up our lists, created vision boards and or collages, made room for another's toothbrush, Feng Shui'd our homes, prayed for/dreamed/felt/imagined/affirmed a new relationship, etc. etc. etc. We've done everything we can think to do until we were blue in the face. Yet, still no love in sight. "Why isn't The Secret working," we ask? Because somewhere in the recesses of our being, the planet called the unconscious mind has made pea soup of our conscious efforts. Especially in the case of love success, but also in the cases of financial success, business success, health success, and any other kind of success we might want, there are barriers arising from unconscious patterns, belief systems, habits and ways of being that we may not yet be aware of. If you transform, transmute, take away these things, you can make room for The Secret to work. They don't all have to be gone, but you do have to remove enough of them for that genie to get through.
Second, there may be a spiritual lesson overriding your results. Spirit/God may have other things in mind for you. For example, let's say Spirit's purpose for your life is to go feed the homeless in Colorado, but you have designs on running a technology start-up in Silicon Valley. If that's the case, your efforts to move to San Fran will be thwarted until you "answer the call." Many times, success looks different to God than it does to us mere mortals.
A word of caution, I hear some people using the "God must intend for me to be single" as a way of avoiding the work of looking for the barriers to love. If you are one of those people, consider that God's intent is the lesson of learning to love - yourself first! - not the lesson of being alone.
If you find that you're not getting the results you want, KEEP LOOKING. (That's one of my favorite mottos!) Ask yourself, "Where am I getting in the way?" or "What might God want for me instead?"
You could do this exploration all on your own, but getting help will make it easier and move you faster to your intended state. Meanwhile, start looking at yourself, your thoughts, your physical and emotional reactions, and the messages coming from all around you. There are plenty of clues regarding your blocks, barriers, and spiritual lessons if you will just look. And keep looking.
Sometimes the spiritual lesson happens when one gets all the things that the Secret provides but still ends up feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. At times like this, turning inward and taking on a spiritual development program, not just a personal development program, is what's appropriate.
It's exciting to be reminded that "the world is our oyster," but it's frustrating when we try and try and don't get what we want. So, yes, do what you can to apply the principles of The Secret, and if you're not successful, don't take it personally. Just get going! One of my dear clients said it so well: "You can't just wish upon a star and expect things to happen. You have to do the work."
