Believe it or not, these big BUTS are useful, otherwise they would not persist. We human beings are smarter and more powerful than we realize. If something’s not working for us, we get rid of it. So, as uncomfortable as big BUTS can be they are there for a reason; they serve us in some way. It’s helpful to discover the purpose that they’re serving, because once you see what you’re getting out of having big BUTS, or not getting because you have them, you will likely decide that you don’t want that in your life any more.

Excuses, complaints, negativity, shame, blame, indignation and other forms of big BUTS are usually developed in our younger years when we didn’t have better ways of coping. They are used to push people away and/or keep them at arms length. They help us control and manipulate situations we think we can’t manage. They serve as reasons not to be responsible for our lives, to resist being dominated by others or by our commitments, and to avoid things like the pain of being hurt. While on the surface these might not seem so bad, what you want to remember is what’s missing while this is going on: joy, love, intuition, God, powerful connections, success and all the other things that go with living a fulfilled life. It’s hard to be happy when you’re complaining.

So when you’re ready to take on the other weight loss resolution, join my BUT reduction revolution!

When you hear yourself complaining, thinking “yeah, but”, “I can’t” or ‘this always happens to me”, ask yourself, “Do I really believe this or am I using it as an excuse to _____ (fill in the blank)?

One way to deal with big BUTS is to directly contradict the voice. Some find it more effective to question, to ask “what if”.

For example, if you hear yourself thinking, “I’m stupid,” you could respond with, “In fact, I’m brilliant!” However, if there’s a real “No, I’m not” underneath, you might end up in an internal stand- off with yourself that would only serve to make the BUT bigger by keeping you stuck. Instead, ask, “Do I really believe that? Would I treat a beloved friend this way? Am I just beating up on myself or is there something I need to do to improve so this doesn’t happen again?” Start to reason yourself into a new frame of mind.

Another example: if you hear yourself thinking, “I’ll never make it” or “that will never happen for me”, respond with something like, “Well, what if??? What would I be doing differently? How would I be acting? Who would I be talking to and what would I be saying to myself instead?” Then start moving in that direction.

A multi-faceted approach is the most effective way to reduce your BUTS. In addition to “what if- ing”, other ways to ensure your success are:

• Have an inspiring action plan. Being in action regardless what the voices are saying will help keep them at bay and in some cases will have them go away entirely.
• Engage in a daily spiritual program. When you get rid of the bad stuff you have to replace it with something. A spiritual life will help you reduce the BUTS faster and give you more nurturing and healthy brain food that will sustain you over time.
• Get help! Find a coach, meet with a counselor, go to a class, develop a support system. NLP, hypnotherapy, neuron-acoustic reprogramming, EFT, and Sedona are some effective methods for managing your mind. There are so many ways to help yourself these days that it’s crazy not to have several of these tools in your toolbox.

A true BUT reduction program could be one of the most difficult yet most rewarding exercises you’ve ever undertaken. We are so attached to our ideas, beliefs, and undistinguished thought patterns that it’s hard to let go. Sometimes you have to wage an all-out war with the negative voices in your head in order to bring on a new way of life. And it’s worth it!

THE PERSONAL SIDE OF BUSINESS (Making Your Relationships at Work Work for You) No matter what business you are in, good relationships are the key to your success. Learn how to make your life more enjoyable and more prosperous by using the Law of Relatedness, and learn to draw your success to you so that you don't have to work so hard to accomplish your goals.
Next Course: January 29 2007 at The Knowledge Shop in Marietta.

Valentine's Day Forum I will be on a panel of experts at a Love and Relationship Forum sponsored by The Eagle Connection. Saturday, February 3, Smyrna Community Center.