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Recently, on my radio show, I had the pleasure of
interviewing Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the
international best-seller The Four Agreements. In
another of his wonderful books, The Mastery of Love,
Don Miguel talks about a very interesting concept he
calls the Magical Kitchen. He says that many of us
are starving for love, and because of this we
compete with others for attention, which creates “a
war of control in our love relationships”. The
antidote: fill your Magical Kitchen!
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Pretend that the kitchen in your home is magically
stocked to the brim with any kind of food and drink
you would ever need. (Wouldn’t that be nice?!) You
can eat anytime you want, you have plenty to share
with others, you’re not dependent on anyone or any
circumstance, and you are safe in the comfort of
knowing you’ll never go hungry.
Then, when someone comes to visit bringing food of their own, you can choose to partake or not. No strings attached, no obligations, no worries. Just the joy of being together sharing some food. Yours or theirs. Doesn’t matter. Life is good. If, on the other hand, your kitchen is empty and you go hungry for a while, someone who comes to the door with food, any food, will look really good at that moment. Usually in this situation, the person with the food comes with conditions, such as “You can eat with me if you’re always nice to me,” or “I’ll share with you if I get to be the boss,” or “If you don’t do as I say, I’ll leave with all the goods!” They know they have the upper hand, and they like it that way. Life isn’t so good. But you’re starving, so you invite them in. Problem is, you can’t be completely yourself because you have to play by their rules or you risk losing your source of food. Obviously, the Magical Kitchen isn’t a real room in anyone’s home; it’s a space in your heart. In the realm of relationships, we’re talking about love instead of food. When we are full of love for ourselves and others, we are free to share and free to come and go as we please. When we are starving for love, we will do whatever we can to get love (or something that resembles love) and we will hang on for dear life. So the Big Question is: How full is your kitchen? |
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As always, there are a variety of ways to fill the
Magical Kitchen of Love in your heart. Here are just a
few:
Clear the Cupboards (Get Complete) – Many times, there’s no room in our hearts because we’re holding on to moldy loaves of bread: old loves, hurts, memories, anger, pain and resentment. These things energetically eat all the “soul-food” they can their hands on. Find ways to let go. Call me if you need some suggestions. Protein Shakes (Get Emotional Support) – Collect people in your life whom you can count on to be there for you. People who can hear you, be with you, and help you deal with whatever emotional space you’re in. (Note: “help you deal with” means to offer moral support beyond just listening – it means assisting you in getting past your current situation in a powerful, positive way.) Have enough of them so you don’t lean too heavily on one or two. Angel Food Cake (Get God) – Spirituality is a powerful way to stock your kitchen. Whatever your religious affiliation, use your understanding of God and practices for connecting with Spirit to fill up the empty food bank of your soul. Oftentimes, loneliness is a spiritual affliction. Pray, meditate, journal, seek – do whatever it takes to improve your connection with God. Animal Crackers (Get Happy) – Have some fun!! Hang out with someone who makes you laugh so hard your face hurts. Do something you love to do – something that makes you smile and makes your heart sing. Watch a funny movie. Walk the dog, pet the cat. Swing on a swing, be a kid, be with a kid. Release those endorphins! Fine Wine and other goods (Get a Super-Reserve and “super size it”) – Have more than enough of the things you need in life. Look beyond the tangible (increasing your savings account, filling your sock drawer); the intangible is even more important! Get your needs met, live your values, have plenty of time to enjoy your life. Be sure to stock up on “soul-food” staples so you have your mood busters on hand when needed – favorite pets, bubble bath, feel-good music, fun books, games to play – whatever makes you feel good. Email me if you want to receive a Reserves Checklist. |
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The moral of the story is: the more you love
yourself, the better your relationships will be. Fill
yourself up and lots of love will come your way. If
you find yourself in relationships that aren’t happy,
that don’t last, or that don’t show up at all, check
your cupboards, your ‘fridge’, and all the other
magical kitchen storage places to make sure they’re
as full as they can be.
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QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? Feel free to call or email
me about this or any other relationship concept.
(770)
730-9896 or patty@pfcoaching.com
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Thought you'd want to know:
SOLO TO SOULMATE (How to find the love of your life!) A workshop for single women who are ready to create the right relationship with the right man. You don't have to be single any more! Next class - Next Course: January 2007.
Relationship Magnet
Teleclass
Soulmate Seminar Series
Atlanta Singles Expo |
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Listen in, web in, call in to my radio show every
Thursday from 5 to 6PM on Radio Sandy
Springs. That's AM1620 or
www.radiosandysprings.com.
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