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With the proliferation and success of internet dating
sites, and with as many people as I know who met
their life mate through online dating, I’m always
surprised to hear someone say they are reluctant to
use the internet as a means of meeting new
people. “I don’t want to look desperate,” they
proclaim, or something similar. But in the game of
love, winning usually means you’ve found someone to
love, and if the internet helps you get there - - - -
well - - - -
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It’s understandable that stepping out can be
challenging. Saying to the world, “I’m single, taking
applications” often brings up one’s feelings about
being single – such as: there must be something
wrong with me, I’m tired of dating, I just want to be
in love, why am I not already in a relationship, am I
destined to be alone for the rest of my life, etc.
Many singles have these feelings at some point. It’s
a common human experience to want to avoid them.
However, letting this stop you from taking action in such an important area of your life is the issue. It’s the future of your love life that’s at stake! Wouldn’t you rather be saying, “I met my husband/wife on the internet” than “I’m sitting home alone on a Saturday night – again – because I wasn’t willing to post my profile”? This isn’t about whether or not you look desperate (or whatever word you use to describe your reluctance); it’s about whether or not you are willing to take action and do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true. Time for an ATTITUDE CHECK! |
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When it comes to CHECKING YOUR
ATTITUDE, the first thing to notice is that you
have one. “I don’t want to look desperate” usually
stems from the fact that one feels that way to begin
with, and the act of stepping out – or even thinking
about doing so – puts your emotions front and
center. Your soul wants them there because it is
asking you to examine yourself. It’s the attitude that
keeps you single, not whether you post your profile
on a dating service or not. This is why ATTITUDE
CHECKS are so important. It doesn’t matter
what you do if the thought process behind it is “it
will never happen for me.”
So, consider that the reason you’re not posting online is the same reason you’re not attracting love in your life. Then, start looking for the reason – or reasons – that might be getting in your way. Listen to every word that comes out of your mouth as a “thing that makes you go hmmmmmm.” Become a skilled observer. Ask, “why am I saying what I’m saying?” and “what does this mean about me?” It’s ok to start small – for example, listen to yourself between 9:00 and 9:30 every morning. Take notes. Think about underlying meanings and how they relate your feelings about yourself and others. If you notice any judgment or negativity, start to question your reality. Are they really true, these things you think? See if you can start to turn the negative into a positive. As you grow your ability to do this, you’ll be able to watch yourself for longer periods of time. Beware: This practice will change your life! Sometimes it’s hard to self-assess, so you might want to ask others for feedback. Or create a buddy system and turn it into a game. This will help you have more fun in the process, which can fuel your momentum toward love and awareness. |
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One of the main reasons relationships don’t show up
(or don’t work) is that there are underlying habits
blocking the way. Doing your ATTITUDE CHECK
about people, places and things will help you
uncover the core beliefs are interfering with finding
the love of your life.
Your mission, should you so choose it, is to monitor, identify and distinguish your belief systems and thought processes – the things that go on in your head all day every day. If you keep those that serve your “heart” and eliminate out those that get in your way of connecting and relating, you will soon find yourself in a love relationship, internet dating service or not! |
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QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? Feel free to call or email
me about this or any other relationship concept.
(770)
730-9896 or patty@pfcoaching.com
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Thought you'd want to know:
SOLO TO SOULMATE (How to find the love of your life!) A workshop for single women who are ready to create the right relationship with the right man. You don't have to be single any more! Next class - Three Saturdays, August 12, 19, and 26.
PATHWAYS TO SOULMATE (Success through
conscious courtship)
Other workshops coming this summer: |
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Listen in, web in, call in to my radio show every
Thursday from 5 to 6PM on Radio Sandy
Springs. That's AM1620 or
www.radiosandysprings.com.
Upcoming topics include:
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