COMMITMENT, in this case, is a promise to do whatever it takes to make your relationship successful. It's not just saying that you are exclusive - that's only part of a true relationship COMMITMENT. It's also saying that, as a couple, your partner and his/her life (dreams, goals, work, health, family, etc.) are as important as you and yours are. It means that you are equally responsible for how things go, and that you are willing to do the work of the heart for the purpose of maintaining and growing your connection.

Unfortunately, some people never give of themselves that completely. It is not uncommon for one or the other person in a couple to have an exit door, an escape hatch, or an eye out for something or someone "better". Some people leave at the first sign of trouble, never giving the relationship a chance. The only way to have a powerfully connected partnership is to be willing to work things out. It takes COMMITMENT to do that. Having a "we'll see" attitude regarding a serious relationship means you're not really serious about it.

Another thing that gets in the way is holding back, not giving until your partner gives, taking an "I will if you will" stance. 50/50 is an old way of looking at things. Did you know that it's actually very stingy? 50/50 means you're always expecting something in return, and that you are only giving half of yourself. It puts pressure on the other person to make up the difference, and it keeps you from being fully engaged.

If you give less than 100% to your partnership you will still receive wonderful things from it, but basing your experience on an expectation of receiving isn't an effective way to go about it. Having a profoundly fulfilling relationship takes a good deal of generosity. COMMITMENT means giving 100% of yourself without the expectation - or demand - that you get anything back. The good news is that if you and your partner give 100%, you both get much more than that in return.

The most important aspect of really COMMITTING is being willing to do the work on yourself that love requires of you. Relationships are about growth. Sometimes that's a scary thing. Done right, it has glorious results. Even though we may resist at times, doing the work you need to do on yourself to expand in your ability to love, to open your heart to yourself and to another person -- is what life is all about.

• Do you and your partner have the same level of investment in the relationship, or is one of you giving more than the other?
• What are YOU committed to? Are you both committed to the same thing?
• Have you had a conversation about the level of commitment you're willing to promise to each other?
• Are you in agreement about where you are in your relationship (e.g., are you both at the same stage at the same time)?
• Do you bolt whenever there's a problem? (Wanting to leave when things get tough is a natural reaction. However, feeling it and doing it are two different things.)
• Are there signs that your loved one is looking around? Are you looking around?
• Do you wait to give until you've been given to?
• Do you communicate your needs and requests in a loving manner? Are those needs and requests honored and/or fulfilled?
• Are you both willing to communicate about issues until they get resolved to everyone's satisfaction?
• Do you completely trust your partner, or is there always a niggling fear or concern? (Remember the Safety conversation: look to see if this is about them or if it's your issue)
• Are you giving yourself 100% to the relationship, and are you completely responsible for having it work out? Is your partner willing to do the same?

Learn to be a Relationship Magnet- For men and women -- learn to use the Law of Attraction to become more appealing to the opposite sex. Several classes coming this fall - October, November - to Intown, Brookhaven, and Dunwoody locations.