"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance . . . " (Ecclesiastes, 3:1-4)

As those who've read my blog know, we've been going through some trying times. And as it says in Ecclesiastes, to every thing there is a season. On Sunday, May 27, my mother-in-law, Shirley Passow, died. We are slowly getting back to some semblance of normal. Monday morning, before my daughter headed back home to Virginia, we went for breakfast at my MIL's favorite diner, Jackson Hole in Englewood. (I should note that several of the staff came to her funeral.) Once there, we realized it was too soon, as we sat across from each other in the booth sniffling. I expect that it will be like that for a while.

Over the past month or so, I've run into some communications issues. People don't know what to say when they hear someone is very ill. And they definitely don't know what to say when someone dies. I will not try to claim I'm an expert (I've always felt uncomfortable in those situations), but I can speak from experience about what not to say and a little about what to say.

When I told people my MIL was in a nursing home after having several small strokes, I would inevitably be told "she'll get better". I know they were trying to be supportive, but my MIL was 90 years old and not in great health, so there really wasn't any likelihood of her getting better. And after she went on hospice care, someone actually told me that they knew someone who was in hospice for 11 years. That truly did not make me feel better.

So, what should you say? Say you're sorry to hear the news. Ask if they want to talk about it. Ask if there's anything you can do. These also apply after someone dies. The very best thing I found was getting hugs -- there's almost no need to say anything. But "I'm sorry" always works. And sharing memories is also good.

I did find a very helpful book -- A Time to Mourn A Time to Comfort by Dr. Ron Wolfson. The book is written for two audiences -- mourners and comforters -- and describes and discusses all of the aspects of Jewish bereavement.

The financial industry has special concerns and needs when it comes to social media. FINRA has put together various policies and guidelines for using things like LinkedIn, Twitter, blogs, etc. Having worked with financial advisers before and remembering the stringent approval process, I know this can be a problem. However, I've been researching and reading all of the resources out there, so I am here to help! If you're in the finance world and haven't ventured into social media yet because you're worried about FINRA, let me help you!

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E-mail marketing is a way to stay in front of your customers. Whether it's an e-letter (like this one), notice of a special event or sale, or just a holiday greeting, e-mail marketing should be a part of your marketing package. Let me help you get started.