Simplicity. It is certainly the word of the month as I just moved. Again. This move was my 18th in 20 years. Luckily, this move was one of the easiest - my new home is only 1.5 miles away from my previous one (that is certainly a close proximity record for me!). What a relief - no boxes to send internationally, no weight limits to consider, no interim housing before I found a "home" in a new city or country. And still, all
I focused on for weeks and am still focusing on is simplifying. Getting rid of things so that I only have things I love or that are so functional I can't live without them (or almost). I get this energy, this extreme sense of satisfaction every time I put something in the recycling pile
or the donation pile or decide to sell it.
I thought maybe my satisfaction, and I must say, almost compulsion, with this process was odd. I thought it was a little over the top (maybe due to those 18 moves!). Then I started mentioning it to people. So far, everyone I have told about this says they feel the exact same way. Now, naturally, that doesn't mean that everyone is living all that simply. All we need to do is look around and we see evidence of the opposite. But it seems that there is a whole lot to this idea of simplicity and so I thought we could explore it a bit together here. Ready? Great. Let's go then...
Merriam Webster, www.m-w.com, defines simplicity as 'the state of being simple, uncomplicated, or uncompounded'. Oh yes, I see...uncomplicated, uncompounded. That does have a certain appeal, doesn't it? I know for me all this stuff weighs me down and just feels unnecessary. It's like there is no room to breathe when there is this extra stuff around. I hear often from clients that they are working on de-cluttering, on getting rid of things they no longer need. It is often an ongoing process and the simplification is something I find that they are striving for. And I always think is so interesting and telling as they are often going through the same process internally--getting rid of that unnecessary clutter inside themselves that is serving no useful purpose and is sometimes even hindering them in some way. Yes....very interesting. More on this in a bit.
I hear lots of different strategies about how to keep things simpler in terms of the things we have. For example, when you buy something new, you make sure to get rid of at least one thing. Or having a system before you buy to see if you really 'need' it or do you just want it? This last question is a good one. Whether the answer is that you need or want it, the next question is crucial. What is it that you believe this new thing will give you? Is it comfort, does it save you time, does it make life easier in some way, does it make you feel good? Are you looking for it to 'fill' a gap, an emptiness that you feel?
Answering this question can REALLY help you have more information about whether this thing is ultimately going to give you energy in some way or zap it from you by just adding to your 'stuff'. So next time you feel you NEEEEEED this new thing or just soooooo want it, ask yourself these questions:
1. What do I believe this new thing will give me?
2. Is what this thing will give me, what I really need right now or is it something else I really need?
3. Is there a way to get what I need without this new thing?
Now so far, I have been talking about physical stuff. But what other areas do we have in our lives that we over-complicate, that we have a lot of extra STUFF we just don't need anymore? Where else can we use this idea of simplification? I'd say in MOST areas of our lives. And as I said above, I see this often in my work with clients. When you start becoming very aware of your actions and behaviors and thoughts and words, you get more and more information about what is TRULY filling you up and what is just taking your energy--that is, what is over-complicating things and what is making things simpler.
If you have this idea of Simplicity in mind, it really does help you focus on what is most important to you right now. So what is it that makes you feel over-complicated or compounded on the inside? Let's explore a couple common causes. The first one is listening to the 'shoulds' more than listening to yourself. This is a HUUUUGE one. Living according to the 'shoulds' does NOT equal simplicity. Living according to the 'shoulds' traps a lot of that internal STUFF inside you so there is no room for all that gives you energy, that makes you shine, that fills you up. Here's an example...say you have a job that is a fine job, but you know it is not right for you. Maybe you suffer from stress or you just feel stuck or unfulfilled. But it's relatively 'secure' so you figure you 'should' be happy with what you have so you continue in this job. I know from experience and that of my clients' that there is little room inside for creativity, for exploration, for being curious about what WOULD fill you up when you are believing and living that 'should'.
Now, when I bring this up with people they think automatically that I am suggesting you quit that job. And I'm not. I am only suggesting that you can SIMPLIFY. You can get very clear about what you have and what you want. You can let go of that 'should'. When you let go of the 'should', you are eliminating a LOT of that internal clutter that is not helping you in any way. And without the clutter, I promise you, other options will appear. So maybe this does mean you quit the job. Or maybe it means you stay put as you research other opportunities that you might want in the future. The only difference is there is no 'should' in sight. And without the 'should', life feels a lot simpler.
Another big internal clutter-er is when you aren't clear about what it is you REALLY want. This is a big one and is closely related to buying more stuff because we THINK it will make us happy. And as I said above, it not only doesn't make us happy, it just complicates and compounds. That's what happens when you go toward a goal without becoming really aware of what that goal will give you. It's like when you decide you want to move and start a-new. So you find a new city, you say your goodbyes and you are off on the adventure. Sometimes this works out great. And other times, after 6 months or 1 year, you feel like you are right back where you were before the move. And that is likely because there was something underneath the need to move. Maybe you wanted more connection or more adventure or fulfillment in some way. And when you know THIS, you see again there are SOOO many options of how you can get that. Maybe moving IS the answer, but maybe there is another road to explore that will be long-lasting and is better matched to the REAL thing you want. Having this clarity makes things MUCH simpler.
And when I see my clients going through this process, there is that energy that I talked about earlier. I see a new focus and the sense of satisfaction that comes with this simplicity. It's as if EASE come in and says hello.
So how can you bring more Simplicity into your life? Are you feeling overwhelmed by things--externally or internally or both? Try the three steps offered above for either of those. And if you find yourself, saying 'should' a lot, start becoming aware of that too. What does that 'should' keep you from doing or being? How much space is that 'should' taking right now? It might be difficult to see at first and that's ok. Just explore and be curious. If there is an area in your life where you feel confused, constricted-this is a good indication that you might be complicating things. Maybe it's time to get VERY clear about what your ULTIMATE goal is or where those 'shoulds' are hiding. This can be the beginning to a bit more simplicity. So...you have fun with that while I get another bag for more donation items (can't wait!).