It is easy to see people all around us resisting what is. We can see people trying to fight with a particular situation, trying to deny that it is a challenge or resisting the challenging side of it. Somehow it doesn't fit into our picture of how it is supposed to be and it feels like a huge wall just appeared before us. Whether this is losing a job, a failed or failing relationship, another person not doing what we want, an unexpected accident or event or just an everyday obstacle, our initial reaction is to try to bang the wall down. We want to control the situation and result. We want it to fit our picture and when it doesn't, we try to control it more and more. We end up seeing only what we want and stop seeing what really is. As a result, we can end up resisting what really is and it can feel like a real struggle. Everything feels hard because it is. It's hard to resist what is.

And what would happen if we didn't try to bang that wall down? What would happen if we accepted that wall and looked at it with curiosity? We could explore it and see what it has to show us, to tell us. Maybe we could even find a secret button there that would just cause the wall to fall or disappear effortlessly.

You might be thinking, 'But how can I allow something I don't want? I can't just sit around and do nothing. I can't be passive.' And this is where we get to be curious about what allowing really is. Allowing means you let something be present or let something happen without opposing it or stopping it. So since you are not resisting, you are opening and expanding instead of struggling and constricting.

When you allow, you are ACTIVELY choosing to let what is be what is. So we aren't just staring at the wall. We are not necessarily standing still doing nothing. We are accepting that there is a wall there and seeing what that looks like. We can even explore the wall and see what we can learn from it. Before we can move through or around it, we can get really clear about all it can teach us. This is an open effortless feeling, instead of a fight or a struggle.

In my case, I made the ACTIVE choice to allow my broken bone to be broken.  'Well of course', you say. 'What else could you have done?'  Actually I had lots of choices. I could have fought it, I could have resisted, I could have questioned and complained and felt sorry for myself. But I knew that these choices would not change the situation. That would just be resisting what is. And that would get me nowhere. I also made the ACTIVE choice to be as open as possible to the care the doctors were giving me and to the healing process to come. And since then I have been looking at that unexpected obstacle with curiosity--what was that all about? Why did that happen just now? And although I will never really know the answer to that last question, I can still ask, 'Well, since it did happen now, what can I learn from this?'

So how about you? Is there something in your life that you are resisting or denying? Is there somewhere you feel stuck? Are you trying and trying, but feeling like you never get the results you feel you should? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you could be having these feelings because you are resisting something that is. Have a closer look at it. Is there a wall that you are trying to bang down without admitting its existence? Are you trying to control something you will never be able to control? What can you do instead? How can you learn from the situation the way it is now?

Allowing can be liberating. It means you accept whatever is. And that does not mean you are standing still or that you will always be right here. But it means you accept that you are here right now. It means you see the situation with clarity. With this acceptance and clarity, you are given the choice of what to do next. There is real power in that and it has absolutely nothing to do with being passive. Do you see?

My healing process has gone well and quickly. The doctor says I'm doing better than 'very well'. I know that allowing has played a huge part in this. And I've been finding lots of other  situations and places in my life where I can use this lesson. I encourage you do the same. And I'm hoping to see that nurse next time I go to the doctor so that I can whisper the magic word to her...A-L-L-O-W.