Closed eye relishing mood lady

The Art of ...? The Art of what, you must be wondering (unless you were paying VERY close attention). Yes, I'm being mysterious--trying to lure you in. What could I be talking about, do you think? Well, I can say that it is something that many of us have forgotten how to do. It is something that we need to have space in order to do and when we do it, it brings us even more space as well as a feeling of peace, joy, contentment and fulfillment. Did I hear you say, "I'd like some of that!"? Yes, I thought so. Well then...welcome. Welcome to the art of relishing.

In our doing, action-based society, all you need is a quick look around to see people focused on getting things done--on finishing things. Whether at work or at home or both, we often have a list of items to accomplish-whether short or long-term, whether written out or simply floating around in our minds, elusively teasing us by the existence of all those items. Most likely this list is a mix of different types of to-dos, to be done both because they need to be and because we actually want to do them. On a daily basis, we look to get through the list, checking the items off as we go. Sometimes, external forces cause us to have to wait and we can feel as if we are putting everything on hold or even as if we are failing because we cannot get to the next item on the list.

On the other hand, we can feel a sense of satisfaction when we finally do get to cross the item off, especially if it took a while or is something that we had wanted to do for a long time. And then we are off to the next thing--on to the next to-do, or more likely on to one of the five other things we were working on while we were finishing off that one item.

And where is the real accomplishment here? When do we allow ourselves to really enjoy the feeling of getting done what we wanted? When do we relish in our win, in our accomplishment or simply in our journey getting there? Often, we don't. We continue with this item-finishing routine on a daily, monthly, yearly or maybe even life-long basis.

Merriam Webster's Dictionary defines relish as follows: enjoyment of or delight in something that satisfies one's tastes, inclinations or desires. This is the state that many people seem to have forgotten in their daily lives as they are so focused on finishing everything that needs to be done. And I use the word forgotten because all you have to do is look at a young child to see the art of relishing. You can see their pure joy when they see a new thing to explore or a new taste that appeals to them. You can see them overwhelmed by that simple experience and you can see how they are focused solely on living those moments to the fullest.

For many of us, that focus is lost. Instead, we are so focused on ticking off the things on our list, we never allow ourselves to purely enjoy and simply relish in what we have done and where we are right now. The relishing stage demands some space--some room to step back and be where we are without needing to be anywhere else. It requires relaxing into where we are and accepting it for what it is. This can be a challenge in our goal-oriented, results-focused society.

The other day I was sitting at my desk working in my apartment. It was a rainy late afternoon (I know, who KNEW it rained in California?!). The sun was creeping through the clouds and it was sending little shafts of light on my back patio and through the sliding door and into my living room. The light had a special kind of crisp shiny feel with no rhyme or reason. It brought up this familiar feeling that I only feel in California. It is the memory of piano lessons at Mrs. Larsen's house.

Mrs. Larsen's house was on a beautiful street with lots of big trees. My mom would drop me off and usually wait for me in the car under that tree canopy. I don't get it often, but this certain feeling does come up for me now and then, and only when I am here in California. I'm not sure if is the light or the air or just a combination of things, but it is a peaceful, clean, reminiscent feeling.  When I give it space, when I relish in that feeling, that memory, the beautiful light, it fills me up and I feel calm, grateful, peaceful and full. It has absolutely nothing to do with how many things I have done or accomplished. It is simply the art of relishing where I am right now.

So now it's your turn. Take some moments to relish right now, wherever YOU may be. Take a breath and feel your body relax. Ask it to relax, nicely, if it doesn't do so automatically. Tell yourself it is time for a relishing moment and see how that feels. It might take some practice because it is not something most of us are used to doing so often. It will get easier if you continue to practice.

Maybe your relishing space comes after completing a big project. And instead of ticking it off your list, you relax into the accomplishment, into the completion of the task, and just relish in that feeling. Maybe it comes in the middle of a mundane task and you relish that your body is working, that your mind is working. And maybe YOUR relishing time comes with a comforting memory, like mine did recently, and you can give it space and let it fill you up with peace, contentment and a feeling of pure joy. Whatever the details of your relishing experience, the possibilities are endless when it comes to the art of relishing.