-Jim committed to paying off credit card debt in the new year. At the end of the year, his credit card debt was higher than before. He was discouraged.
-Carol resolved that she would not lose her temper with members of her team when they made mistakes. She started strong in January and February and then slipped into old behavior patterns by mid-summer.
Why do some New Year's resolutions stick and others don't, despite best intentions?
In early January, a client's young daughter asked "Daddy, what is your New Year's revolution?" As he recounted it to me, I laughed and then thought about it. Why is it that some people make New Year's resolutions that lead to meaningful change while others get to late February and, despite their most sincere intentions and efforts, give up in frustration or resignation? What got in the way?
Authors Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey describe a condition they call "immunity to change." It is a state in which people and organizations build resistance to changes that threaten their sense of well-being and challenge their current assumptions and mental models. They advocate for examining beliefs and assumptions and growing to a level of thinking and feeling that is more expansive and allows change to occur. Harvard Professor and renowned leadership educator Ronald Heifitz calls this "adaptive change" and argues that most changes that leaders must produce today are adaptive in nature, requiring ever-expanding and open ways of thinking.
Carol Augustus, coach and mentor extraordinaire, and a major influence in my life, often begins with a question like: "What is an unwanted condition in your life that continues to persist?" She then helps the coaching client to uncover the beliefs that create the dilemma and keep it in place. She challenges the client to articulate her/his beliefs and ask about each: "Is that true?" The answer is usually "no". Each is typically a construct of the mind that is entwined with deep feelings. The combination of thoughts, feelings, and an ego fighting to be right is powerful and can keep an individual trapped in a persistent pattern that is difficult to break. People transform when they let go of old beliefs and expand their thinking to entertain new possibilities and experience the feelings that accompany such a mental shift.
BOTTOM LINEPeople, teams, and organizations transform when they (1) shed light on their blind spots, (2) examine the underlying beliefs and feelings that previously kept them in the dark, and (3) develop and continuously practice new levels of thinking and behaving.
pat newmann