Where does this myth come from?

1. Human Resources/EEO/Legal Department aversion to any kind of litigation risk has led to a blanket default presumption in the working world that differential treatment of individuals we lead is "against the rules."
2. It relates closely to political correctness that causes so many people to self-censor any mention of difference between and among individuals - even observable merit-based differences.
3. The underlying theory that because every person has innate value, we should treat everybody the same.

All of this is only fair if you are running a commune!

Since the early 1990s, the self-improvement movement has made an odd shift from "improving" one's self, toward feeling good about one's self, improved or not.  The irony is that real human development comes precisely from helping people assess their performance honestly and helping them improve.  All the feel good pretend sameness becomes yet another excuse for leaders to avoid monitoring and measuring performance, much less telling people they lead, paid or volunteer, when they failed and helping them improve.  When leaders point out failures to individuals, they are often met with resistance or strong emotions: "It's not my fault. Stop picking on me."  That's when a lot of leaders second guess themselves and withdraw again.  Hiding behind false fairness means that most leaders are unable or unwilling to provide individuals they are leading extra reward when they do go the extra mile.

 "A man going on a journey...turned over his possessions to his servants...To the one he gave five talents to another two; and to another, one - to each according to his own ability..."

We need to commend those for their faithful service!

If we have truly defined the terrain on which we have given those we lead the power, that terrain consists of effectively delegated goals, with clear guidelines and concrete deadlines.  Consistently articulating with every direct report the appropriate standards and expectations - what to do and how to do it. When it comes to those that are not to be commended or do not deserve the reward we can respond appropriately and fairly.

"Then he who received one talent came and said, 'Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed.  And I was afraid...I hid you talent in the ground...here take what is yours."

Then came the boss's reply, "you knew me and what I expected from you.  I gave you what you could handle based upon your ability and training.  So, you should have done what was expected.  However, since you could not handle your task and do what was expected I am going to give yours to the man that did his job, and did it well!

Matthew 25:14-30

What's truly fair? Do more for some people and less for others, based upon what they deserve - based upon their performance.

*Information/insight gathered from Bruce Tulgan's book, "It's Okay to Be Boss."