Trust...the ultimate confidence builder in kids. It requires that we let go and shift control into their hands, but the result is the development of self-esteem, competency, and independence.
Giving your 3-year old a sponge so that she can help wipe up the kitchen table, and then allowing her to do the task according to her abilities, lets her know that you think she is capable.
Similarly, having your teen print the What to Bring to Summer Camp list and letting him take charge of packing his own duffel bag (without your interference from start to finish) shows that you believe he can accomplish the task.
Of course, there will be minor mess-ups like spilled milk or your teen forgetting to pack the quarters he needs to use the showers (!), but, in a safe and caring environment, those turn into great learning opportunities.
And the best part? Not only does trusting your kids to do for themselves help build self-esteem and confidence, but it also helps strengthen your personal relationship with them.
The Money Connection: As we raise our kids, one of our expectations should be that they will grow up with the skills necessary to be responsible with money. This happens when we put our kids in charge of managing money, their money, and trust them to make decisions about how to save, spend, share, and invest it wisely.
They'll need your guidance, of course, but the final decision should rest with them. Accepting their decision means you trust them to behave in a responsible way. Trust me, :-) this does not go unnoticed by them. As always, they will make mistakes. But your confidence in their ability to learn from their mistakes helps solidify the trust you are establishing.
Don't want your kids living with you when they're 30? Then trust them now to learn how to make financially responsible decisions. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised at just how savvy they can be.
