The press is certainly a-Twitter these days about how Linked In you should be, isn't it? Seems you can hardly read a magazine, watch TV, or attend a meeting without hearing about the importance of social networking media, especially LinkedIn, Twitter, and FaceBook. According to the buzz, these online social networks promise to make you well known, well loved, and instantly connected to everyone in the world. All this from Web 2.0, the social web, without ever leaving your computer or putting down your smartphone.

Technology worship is nothing new in the U.S. In many cases, new technologies help make our complicated lives more manageable. But technology is a double-edged sword: it is highly addictive, it can complicate rather than simplify your life, and it can replace some valuable parts of being human with a flashy, but shallow, electronic mimic.

Networking is crucial to successful job searching or freelance business development, but online networking tools are only part of the picture. You have to get out and meet people. This was one of the themes in an entertaining and useful talk called, "How to Work a Room," by Susan Roane, a professional speaker and author of several excellent books on networking (including "How to Work a Room" and "Face to Face," each under $15 on Amazon.com).

But what if you're not very good at networking? What if you're shy and don't know how to approach someone in a room full of people? What do you say? What if you're a scientist or engineer-noted for your analytical skills, but not for your social skills?

Susan offers good advice on how to start conversations and keep them going in a mutually satisfying way. While there are some tricks, much of it comes down to how you look at the situation.

There's the matter of shyness. Studies have shown that most people identify themselves as shy. That should tell you that many other people besides you have trouble overcoming this networking obstacle. Walking up to someone who is standing alone and striking up a conversation may lead to some pleasant surprises. It's also a kind thing to do.

And here's a trick, and a pretty low-tech one: smile at people. If your facial expression is welcoming and friendly, you'll be more approachable.

So you've walked up to someone, shaken their hand and told them your name. What do you do next? You need to say something about yourself in 7 or 8 seconds. I've heard fancy names for this, like your "verbal logo," but I just call it my introduction or opening. Its purpose is to give the person you're meeting a context to place you in. At a meeting where not everyone knows what a medical writer is, I might say "Hi, I'm Mitch Gordon. I'm a medical writer. I help scientists and medical people turn their knowledge into good writing." At a wedding you might say "I'm the bride's cousin-we've known each other since we were kids." This introduction lets the person know something about you that's relevant to the situation. It should also arouse their curiosity, and it definitely gives the two of you something to talk about.

 

Keep it simple and avoid marketing-speak. At a professional association meeting you might be able to get away with, "I add value for clients by proactively blah blah blah," but why inflict this painful pitch on an innocent stranger?

And forget that "30-second elevator speech" that you practiced at that job seekers' workshop. The elevator speech is a perfectly good response in an interview when you're asked to "tell us a little about yourself." But it's not a way to introduce yourself to someone you've approached at a meeting or party. The 30-second elevator speech is too long, and it will usually dominate and stifle the fragile new conversation.

This brings us to a key point about conversations: they should be back-and-forth exchanges. You should ask, "So how about you? What do you do?" before too much time goes by. Think of tennis: my serve, your side, my side, your side, my side. This situation isn't like football, when you laboriously push for another 10 yards in your opponent's territory. You should avoid dominating the conversation, but you don't want to relinquish it, either.

Enjoy your conversation, and learn new things about other people and their work. A casual discussion at an association meeting can teach you much about your own field, including names of the key players and companies, marketing strategies, and other business matters you want to know about. As much as networking is about building up your base of contacts, it's also about self education.

And this should go without saying: conclude the conversation with a handshake and an exchange of business cards (you did bring business cards, didn't you?). Follow up the next day by entering the business cards you collected into a contacts spreadsheet or database, and send each person an invitation to become a connection on LinkedIn (see my article in Insider Vol. 2, No. 15 for more on this).

 

One more thing, and this may sound quaint and retro: the next time you need to talk to someone, consider an old-fashioned alternative to email-Pick Up the Phone (PUP for short).

There is no question that electronic tools like LinkedIn have an important place in your networking efforts. But the role of the electronic tool is secondary to the role of your voice, your smile, your expression of interest in another person's work, and your ability to succinctly talk about yourself. We often rely too much on technology, immersing ourselves in it rather than reaching out to others in a more personal way. When you get past the jargon, a word like "networking" is really just a techie substitute for "getting to know people" or "building a community of colleagues" or "helping one another." Communication is between people, so keep it interpersonal. Besides, without us, our computers and smart phones would have nothing to talk about.

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Mitch Gordon has been a professional writer for 16 years. He is completing his Masters degree in Regulatory Affairs, to be finished in early 2010. His specialties are regulatory and clinical documentation, and he writes a wide range of other documents that support life-sciences companies.
 
Mitch Gordon
Medical and Regulatory Writing
Website: http://www.mitchgordonwriter.com

Email: mitchgord@aol.com

Tel: 707-869-4561