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When Parent's Don't Parent
Happy Tuesday!
A couple of years back I attended an evening with a teen mothers group through Red Wing Youth Outreach. It was very difficult for me to be there, I wanted to pick up all of those innocent infants and toddlers and take them home with me. They needed to be cuddled, fed,and bathed. The good news is the reason these young mothers were there was to learn how to be parents. Most didn't understand what being a parent meant as they were just children themselves. Many hadn't grown up with decent parenting role models.
Last week I was attending a very different meeting. A group of caring people in Lake City are bringing our Packing for the Weekend Program to hungry children there. Everything is in place to get it started, volunteers, funding from Cargill's Horizon Milling and a hage need. One church in town feeds over 80 children each Wednesday evening and more on Sunday afternoons. They have been trying to understand why there are so many children going without food and have met with parents who struggle to do their best for their children and parents who have simply given up. These parents have issues of their own to deal with and children are often left to parent themselves as well as their parent(s).
The schools in Lake City are hesitant to allow the program in. One of the concerns is that it is not a child's job to provide food for their family. I wholeheartedly agree. It is not a child's job to provide food for a family.
But when a parent refuses or is unable to do so, who's job is it?
In this time of severe political polarization, when we look for everything to be black or white, right or wrong, rich or poor, right or left, who's job is it to parent neglected children? Who should provide food for the middle school students who live with their mom who is a meth- amphetamine addict and uses any money she has to support her habit? Who should provide food for the children who's parents have lost their jobs and their home?
Last year I heard a bright and successful young woman speak about her childhood. She was the child of well-educated, once well employed, heroine addicts, living on public assistance. One winter she remembered sharing a chapstick with her sister - not to medicate chapped lips, but as a meal. Another time they shared a tube of toothpaste when the neighbors ran out of food to share.
Some of the families we meet are on government assistance, some are not. Some are two parent households, some are not. Some own their homes, some rent and some live with whoever will take them in. Some have been reported to Social Services, some have not, many don't fit the criteria required to be labeled neglectful and have their children removed from their care. The one thing these families all have in common is parents who for many different reasons aren't parenting.
When children are left without a responsible parent - ask yourself - who's job is it to parent them? At United Way, we believe it is our job to ask that question and to help find the answers. That is why we ask to to GIVE, to ADVOCATE and to VOLUNTEER. | 
