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Are You Better and Smarter Than Me?
Last week at our staff meeting we were discussing ideas for the newsletter and Tonya mentioned something she had seen before we could easily adapt to our United Way. It was something we all felt good about, something we thought you would find interesting and heartwarming. I was looking toward today with great anticipation, ideas flying through my mind for use in this column. Then - I read an article, one forwarded to me by my husband with a note that said, " You can't use this, but I thought you'd find it interesting." It was political in nature, hence the "can't use it " statement, but that's not what grabbed my interest. Over the past five days I have not been able to get the voice of that writer out of my head. So the good, happy, heartwarming idea will have to wait.
Our phone rings a lot in this office and at this time of year it tends to ring endlessly. Many calls are from people wondering how they can help. We love those calls, please never stop calling, The calls we don't often share with you however, are the calls for help.
A man called to tell us his home had been destroyed by fire earlier this year and he had moved in with his son. He is confined to a wheelchair and his funds for home health care have been depleted so he needed his son to care for him. Recently his son was arrested, is serving time in jail and is being evicted. This man had nowhere to go and no one to call for help.
A young woman called looking for advice on getting funds for food. She and her husband both worked but didn't earn much. They had been enrolled in a program through the state that gave them money for food each month. An in-law residing with them had received a small inheritance which the family used to pay toward their mortgage, heat and electric. They notified the state of this income and found their food benefits reduced to $49 per month to feed four people.
Several calls came in from parents looking for help for Christmas gifts for their young children.
Now back to the articlethat was sent to me. It was about a family. The man lost his job of 10 years and with it the families health insurance. He now works independently and his wife runs a small non-profit. Since many sources of income for non-profits have disappeared, she has had a substantial cut in pay. They relied on COBRA for their health insurance for 18 months at a cost of $1300 per month. When that ran out they had to make a choice, mortgage payments or insurance payments. They opted to make house payments and went without health insurancehoping for the best.
She just found out that she has breast cancer. They gambled and lost.
It is a very sad story, but I hear sad stories every day. What made this one stand out is the way she described her feelings when she checked into the hospital. The hosptial staff were very kind to her, but she had to fill out special forms and visit a special office for "cash customers". She described feelings of judgement she felt from people who identified her as "one of those people without insurance". She said that she wanted to scream out " I am a good person with a job and I pay my bills." She wanted all of those she felt were judging her to know that they were not better or smarter than her, they were just LUCKIER than her.
Are some of us just luckier than others? What is luck? Some say there is no such thing, that every thing in life happens for a reason and that if you PLAN WELL, things will work out well. However, if you are a human over 12 years old, living in today' world, you have observed things that defy reasoning. What is it, then, if you plan for something and something else happens? Failure to plan?
We like to think that people who are "down on their luck" are there for some reason of their own making. If we believe this, it's easier for us to think that we are safe. Those bad things won't happen to me because I have a plan, a family, a job, good friends, the list goes on and on. But the people you see and read about, who are losing their homes and have no insurance may have had a plan and a list as well.
Next time you find yourself judging a person in need, ask yourself if you are somehow beeter than them. Are you smarter than they are? Could you ever find yourself in that situation? How many checks are you away from losing insurance or your home?
Or have you been one of the LUCKY ones? If so, try not to hold those who have not had your luck in disdain. Treat them with the compassion and understanding you would like to see if your LUCK ever runs out.
Maureen Nelson
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