Wellness and Well-being: Grieving and Ways to Cope 

by Mary Polce-Lynch, Ph.D.

Mary Polce-Lynch, Ph.D.

Someone once said that grief is the footprint in our heart left from someone we love. After a loved one dies, this takes on a new meaning. We also grieve when we lose relationships, dreams, homes and jobs or careers. This article focuses on ways to cope with grieving the death of a loved one.

Grief is the emotion we feel when we experience a loss. All deaths can be considered traumatic in some way, but a sudden death is always traumatic. Not only do we suffer with sadness, but also our minds are reluctantly trying to integrate a new reality - one that is different from the way reality should be. Without a goodbye and with much left unsaid, a sudden death can also bring about regrets such as, "I wish I had told him/her this," or "I hope he/she knew how much I liked him/her." These regrets are a normal part of grieving, especially in the case of a sudden death.

We also grieve when our loved one's death was expected and we were able to say goodbye. We miss the person and their presence in our lives, especially the times that were usually spent together such as holidays or birthdays. And we can still have many regrets even when the death was expected; this is a normal part of the grieving process. The first two years after a sudden or expected death involves a natural period of adjustment to the new reality that the person we loved is gone.

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We are pleased to announce two new added features on our secure patient portal: 

1. If you have questions about your bill from Virginia Women's Center, you can now send our billing team a secure message using our patient portal. Just go to the "Message Billing" tab. Remember, you can also pay your bill online.
    
2. The "My Medical Summary" tab shows you the allergies, conditions, medications, diagnostic results and vital signs that we have on record for you from all of your visits at VWC. The best part is that you can download and print the summary.

We hope that these new features will be informative and convenient for you as you interact with your VWC care team and play an active role in your health care. In addition, you can use our secure patient portal on www.VirginiaWomensCenter.com to communicate via secure message with your VWC care team, get prompt notification of your lab and test results, schedule an appointment, request a prescription refill, and update, view and download your medical summary.  

If you have not yet registered on our secure patient portal, please note that in order to activate all of the features, you will need a personal identification number, also known as a PIN. To ensure your privacy and the security of your medical records, your PIN will be generated after your email address has been verified in person. You will receive your PIN at your next visit, or

if your email address was recently verified in our office, call us at 804.288.4084 and we will generate and distribute your PIN to you by secure message. Even without your PIN, you are able to register on the secure patient portal and request your next appointment.

Should you have any questions, feedback or suggestions, feel free to contact us at 804.288.4084.

If you have set up recurring payments from your personal bank account to Virginia Women's Center, you will need to update the "Bill To" address to:

           7130 Glen Forest Drive, Suite 101
           Richmond, VA 23226

If you have any questions, please contact a billing representative by sending a secure message on our patient portal or calling 804.282.1095. 

The Whole You: Healthy Eating Over the Holidays

Image courtesy of www.constantcontact.com

The holidays are one of the hardest times to stay healthy. Even though it is challenging, you can still make healthy eating decisions. Here are some tips to help: 

1. If you're going to a big party in the evening, eat healthy snacks and meals throughout the day so that you are less ravenous when you arrive.
2. Make time for exercise - suggest a family walk after your holiday meal instead of the all too tempting snooze.
3. Eat your meals slowly so to savor every bite. This also helps reduce the amount of food you will eat.
4. Trim the fat off of the meat you eat. Each tablespoon of fat contains 100 calories.
5. When baking, use nuts and raisins instead of chocolate.
6. Bring your own healthy dish to the potluck party. Encourage others to do the same.

Eat This, Not That! Holiday Tips
The author of Eat This, Not That! gives some tips for substitutions during the holiday season.

 
Worst dip:                                                 Eat this instead:
Spinach and artichoke dip                            Salsa (1/4 cup)
300 calories                                                 10 calories
19 g fat                                                         0 g fat  

The wrong dip can transform healthy veggies and a whole grain pita into vessels for fat and hundreds of extra calories. Avoid creamy, cheesy dips at all costs and stick to the tomato-based salsas and bruschetta, which are low calorie and offer a healthy serving of vegetables to boot.
 
Worst side:                                                 Eat this instead: 
Baked potato with butter and sour cream      Roasted red potatoes (1/2 cup) 
400 calories                                                   100 calories
14 g fat (6 g saturated)                                   5 g fat (1 g saturated) 
 
The difference here is in the toppings. Add bacon and cheese to the mix, and add an extra 150 calories. Another smart sides rule: Not all salads are paragons of virtue. Greens with croutons and Italian dressing pack in 140 more calories than a serving of peas with pearl onions.
 
Worst hot drink:                                         Drink this instead:
White chocolate mocha (20 ounces)               Café au lait with peppermint syrup (20 ounces)
660 calories                                                    150 calories
22 g fat (15 g saturated)                                  5 g fat (3.5 g saturated)
95 g sugars                                                    17 g sugars
 

Sugary coffee concoctions are a holiday shopping staple-but the wrong one could deliver more calories than a Big Mac! Avoid mochas, lattes and cappuccinos and order a café au lait with a spurt of flavored syrup instead.
 
Worst dessert:                                             Eat this instead: 
Pecan pie à la mode                                       Chocolate fondue
810 calories                                                     340 calories
65 g fat                                                            10 g fat
55 g sugars                                                     28 g sugars 
 
In the wide world of holiday pies, nothing is worse than a slice of pecan. Blame the filling, which is a sickly-sweet sludge of corn syrup and sugar. Fondue, in comparison, is a fun and relatively healthy way to splurge after a big meal. Angel food cake makes an ideal dipper: light, low in calories and virtually fat-free. Fruit is even better.

Information provided by: http://www.oprah.com/food/The-Best-and-Worst-Holiday-Foods