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FEATURE ARTICLE: The Effective Use of "said" and Other Dialogue Attributions
by Mike Klaassen
"There's a four-letter word that always ignites debate in writing classes. (No, not that four-letter word.) The word in question is "said," according to Nancy Kress, in Writer's Digest (November, 2005).
Writing coaches seem to recognize three groups of attribution verbs:
- Those that are preferable
- Those that are sometimes acceptable
- Those that are not acceptable
But, of course, not everyone agrees which verbs belong in which group.
PREFERABLE
There is one verb that stands out as the most acceptable or preferable verb of attribution, and that is "said." There are numerous supporters of its use.
Renni Browne and Dave King, in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, observe that ". . . when you're writing speaker attributions the right verb is nearly always 'said.' . . . [It] isn't even read the way other verbs are read. It is, and should be, an almost purely mechanical device -- more like a punctuation mark than a verb. It's absolutely transparent, which makes it graceful and elegant."
"Said" has such wide acceptance that many writing coaches encourage its frequent use. Michael Levin, in Writer's Digest (January 2006) advises writers to "Use 'said' liberally; . . ." Janet Evanovich, in How I Write, seems to agree when she says, "Don't be concerned that there will be too many 'saids' in your book. Readers never really notice them."
According to Tom Chiarella, in Writing Dialogue, "From the very start of our lives as writers, we are trained not to repeat. Repeating is lazy . . . the mark of a writer who doesn't care. New writers tend to lose faith in the word 'said.' They think they overuse it. My first piece of advice here is to not worry about it," says Chiarella. "Use 'said' in your dialogue tags and nothing else. Concentrate on the words your characters say and the way they say them. Your first obligation should be to their words. Get the words right first."
Regarding the overuse of "said," Jack M. Bickham, in 38 Common Fiction Writing Mistakes, notes that "It's one of those 'author worries' that readers just don't think about."
Even so, there can be too much of a good thing. Browne and King observe that "Some writers get a little nervous when they see a long string of 'saids' spreading over the page."
"Admittedly," says Tom Chiarella, "there is some problem to using the word 'said' over and over. In particularly short, rapid-fire dialogue, the pulse of this word can become overwhelming. The dialogue is flattened out by the straight repetition of the word."
James Scott Bell, in Writer's Digest (June 2003), notes that "In the old days, novelists were freer with speech tags . . . ." But more "Recently there has been a favoring of the simple 'said' . . . . I think this errs too much in the other direction. I've read stretches of dialogue peppered only with 'said' and found it repetitive in a woodpecker sort of way."
SOMETIMES ACCEPTABLE
According to Peter Selgin, in By Cunning & Craft, "'Said' -- that most weightless and watery of words -- is the perfect host to dialogue: smooth, discrete, all but invisible, . . . " However, "I don't mean to imply that said is the only allowable attributive."
William G. Tapply, in The Writer (October 2008), agrees when he says that "there will be times when more specific verbs such as "whisper" or "yell" or "ask" might be called for." Janet Evanovich, in How I Write, states that "In every case, if the speaker is asking a question, instead of using said use the verbs asked." Other authors expand the list to include "answered," "demanded," "insisted," "shouted," "screamed," "whispered," "murmured," and a handful of others.
Evan Marshall, in The Marshall Plan for Novel Writing, observes that "Many beginning novelists worry that repeated use of these words will become monotonous and unimaginative, so they search the thesaurus for said and asked replacements. The fact is, 'said,' 'asked,' and 'answered' are invisible to readers. Look in any best-selling novel and you'll see what I mean. The pros nearly always use these words or none at all."
NOT ACCEPTABLE
"It's true that any word repeated too often becomes monotonous," writes Nancy Kress, in Writer's Digest (November 2005), "but substitutions for "said" can be worse than its repetition."
In an attempt to avoid repeated use of the word 'said,' some writers go to great lengths to find synonyms in attribution tags. In her article in Talk About (Institute of Children's Literature, 1991), Linda Lee Maifair, refers to this habit as Thesuarusitis. "Thus [their characters] state and stutter, mention and mutter, reply and retort, quiz and question, protest and point out, whine and whisper (even when there's no need to be quiet)."
Browne and King note that "The reason those well-intentioned attempts at variety don't work is that verbs other than 'said' tend to draw attention away from the dialogue. They jump out at the reader, make the reader aware, if only for a second, of the mechanics of writing. They draw attention to your technique, a technique that distracts the reader is never a good idea. You want the reader to pay attention to your dialogue, not the means by which you get it to them."
William G. Tapply (The Writer, October 2008), makes another observation about synonyms for said: "Words that describe what and how something is said such as 'exclaimed,' 'explained' or 'elaborated' (never mind 'asseverated') are redundant and distracting -- the writer sticking his nose in."
Tom Chiarella notes that "When done right, a dialogue does not need to rely upon changing 'said' to 'responded' or 'screamed' or 'whispered.' These variations call attention to themselves, and to the writer, rather than the scene. Using 'said' keeps the reader focused on the character's words rather than the writer's cleverness."
A further warning: some verbs used for dialogue attribution are physically impossible. Can humans really 'bark' words? Or hiss? Chuckle? Sigh? Groan? The all-time classic might be Herman Melville's whopper in Moby-Dick: "'Ah! poor fellow! he'll have to die now,' ejaculated the Long Island sailor."
Peter Selgin, in By Cunning & Craft, advises fiction writers to "Stop killing yourself to come up with new, improved ways of saying 'he said.'"
Michael Levin, in Writer's Digest (January 2006), sums it all up when he asks, "Did you ever read a story and think, This would have been better if the author had found more alternatives for the word 'said'? I thought not."
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You may, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Author Mike Klaassen publishes "For Fiction Writers," a free monthly e-zine.
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