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Contact
Parenting Solutions:
www.parenting-solutions.com
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Dear Friends, With the start of another school year, it's natural to focus
on what your children are learning outside the home. But don't forget that you are your child's primary role model. In this month's article below, I help
you to examine how you're fulfilling that responsibility. This fall I am stepping up my work with the New York State
Parenting Education Partnership. I
will be leading two workshops on
normal child development at professional development meetings for parenting
educators in the tri-state area.
In addition, I expect to have exciting news regarding both my parenting
book and another resource for parents (top secret!) very soon...so stay tuned. Best wishes, happy parenting, and, as always let me know
your thoughts. Meg |
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Interested in setting up a series
of parenting workshops
at your school or
for
your mothers' group? I can propose a variety of
topics from sleep issues to sibling
rivalry to communication. Or, you
can request subjects that particularly interest your group. Contact me
at meg@parenting-solutions.com. |
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| THE BEST LECTURE IS A GOOD EXAMPLE |
You might think the best way to teach your children to be respectful is to instruct them on how to behave and to correct them when they fall short. But kids learn respect first and foremost by observing how you treat others.
Respect for your spouse (or any parenting partner, if there is one) plays an extremely important role in influencing children's behavior. The way in which we listen, empathize, support, show appreciation, and perhaps most importantly, disagree are demonstrated to our children every day (and this applies to divorced parents as well).
Safe to say, you should be hypervigilant about not:
- yelling or snapping at each other
- talking down to each other
- making fun of each other (except in a very good-natured way where the object of the fun can laugh along too)
- undermining each other
You must set the highest standard for yourself because your children will miss nothing. And when you do slip, it is important that your children see you apologize and that you explain to them why your behavior was unacceptable.
Almost as important as respect for your partner is respect for your parents (your kids' grandparents). Don't dream for a moment that kids are not acute observers of how you treat your parents, and don't delude yourself that your kids will not, intuitively if not consciously, see the analogy: my parents are to my grandparents as I am to my parents. You roll your eyes at your parents, you'll be treated to the same response from your kids. You don't have time for your parents, don't be surprised when your kids don't have time for you.
In addition to treating all extended family members with respect (even when the relationships are problematic), demonstrating respect for friends, acquaintances and strangers goes a long way toward setting a good example for your child. Do you acknowledge a doorman as you go in or out of a building? Do you thank the check-out person at your supermarket? Do you have patience and consideration for other drivers on the road? Your kids will pick up on every interaction.
Treat others with the same respect you would like to receive from your children. Whenever possible, find opportunities to point out how you show respect to others. And, if you feel you and your spouse/parenting partner's conduct in this area is severely lacking, take steps to get help - for the sake of your children. |
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PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:
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Modeling
respectful behavior is essential.
But when you miss the bar -- speaking to someone in an annoyed tone, losing
your patience with a store clerk, etc - talk about your mistake with your
children. It's important to let
them know which behaviors not to model!
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Are you struggling with a parenting challenge? Are you having trouble being consistent? I can help you find practical solutions that will make your job as a parent easier and more enjoyable. Consultations are in person, by phone, or by e-mail, so I am able to work with parents nationwide. Contact me today at meg@parenting-solutions.com.
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Have you heard about my "Parenting
Solutions Speed Sessions on Demand?" These
are quick half-hour phone sessions, when you need them. Simply set-up
an appointment with me whenever you've got a specific pressing issue or
question you want answered, and I'll impart expert advice, affordably
and efficiently. Give yourself the gift of a package of six "Speed
Sessions" for just $360, and use them as needed. I'll even send you a
follow-up e-mail after each session, outlining the major points for
easy reference. It's like having parenting advise in your back
pocket! To get started, call me at (917) 526-3528, or e-mail me at
meg@parenting-solutions.com.
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