When my daughter was young, she took a ballet class once a week after school.  I would take her across town to her class, wait the hour, and bring her home for dinner.  But, I also had my youngest child (then a toddler) in tow, and during that hour we would sit outside her classroom engaged in all sorts of activities.  I brought small puzzles and educational games, manipulative toys, paper and crayons, plastic animals and characters (for telling stories), and books.  There were always other mothers and caregivers there with younger siblings; inevitably, several of the children would gravitate to my son and me and ask to join in the fun. Each week I ended up entertaining a group of kids.

Most of the other parents would chat with each other, talk on their cellphones, or read the newspaper, giving their children attention when necessary to keep them from climbing on things or wandering into the locker room or out the door, or to try to stop their whining.  In other words, they gave their children attention only when they were making trouble.  But I was pretty sure their children were getting into trouble mainly because they were bored.

Herein lies my point: much of children's "acting out" or whining can be attributed to restlessness when they are not engaged.  As adults, we count on all sorts of stimuli (our ipod, a newspaper or book, a conversation) to pass the time when we are waiting.  So why wouldn't we expect our children to need age-appropriate activities to pass the time when there is nothing to engage them?  Yet, everyday, I see children whose parents (or caregivers) expect them to be happy doing nothing for long periods of time in all sorts of circumstances.  Sometimes parents can anticipate the wait, such as when they bring a toddler along to watch an older sibling's sporting event, or when the young child has a doctor's appointment that inevitably includes time in the waiting room.  Other times, the waiting is unexpected, such as getting caught in traffic or the delayed start of a show or other event.  In either case, children are likely to feel bored and frustrated if they have nothing to do for more than a few minutes, and they will start looking for ways to entertain themselves.  More often than not, they choose to entertain themselves in ways that are not ideal.

The good news?  You can easily avoid unpleasant situations brought on by bored children with too much time on their hands.   The solution?  Always be prepared with activities to occupy your children's time and attention! 

The following example illustrates my point nicely.  On her way to school during rush hour recently, my daughter was stuck in an extremely crowded subway car, not moving for nearly 30 minutes. Standing on one side of her was a mother and young son; after a few minutes, the boy began to whine and fidget, kicking my daughter intermittently.  The mother repeatedly told the boy to "stand still," which, of course, he could not do for more than 30 seconds.  My daughter bore the brunt of the child's conduct for the entire half hour of service disruption.

By contrast, another mother in the subway car with two little girls was totally prepared for the unforeseen turn of events.  As soon as the train stopped, she took a book out of her bag and began reading to her daughters.  She later asked the girls if they were hungry or thirsty and produced two small thermoses to keep them content.  She then gave them a few plastic characters, and they passed the rest of the time telling stories to each other while their mother read her newspaper. Needless to say, these two girls did not whine or act out because they weren't bored for a moment.

While it is certainly important for children to learn the skill of entertaining themselves and to do without constant attention, it is unrealistic for us to expect them to sit still and do nothing but be with their own thoughts for anything more than a short period of time.  It's difficult enough for adults (that's why there are magazines in waiting rooms!); surely we can't expect our children to do it more easily.  But waiting is an inevitable part of life, and a wise parent will be proactive and always have something ready to occupy their children when they must wait.  Be prepared with small toys that your child can play with alone or together with an adult or other child.  Bring books that your child can look at alone, as well as a few to read to him/her, and don't forget games that require no toys, such as "I Spy" or "Which One Doesn't Belong."

To summarize, think ahead and remember that staving off boredom will alleviate many unpleasant situations with your children.  If you prepare regularly for unavoidable down time, it will become a habit.  Teach your children how to pass time pleasantly instead of whining and getting into trouble because they are bored; you'll be popular with your children as well as with others!