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MARCH 2009
In This Issue:
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: ARE YOU FINDING THE RIGHT BALANCE?
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Dear 

Have you ever wondered, "Is my child doing too much?" or "Does my child need more extracurricular activities?"

If so, you're not alone; these are questions often posed to me by parents, and they are important ones to examine.  I recommend evaluating the balance between structured and unstructured time in your child's schedule carefully and often.  

Each child is different and will need a particular balance that works for him.  In this month's article entitled Extracurricular Activities: Are You Finding The Right Balance?, I offer some points to consider when thinking about this dilemma.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and follow-up questions on this issue.  Share them with me at [email protected].

This month marks the first year anniversary of my Parenting Solutions Newsletter.   I hope it has given you much food for thought as well as practical information.   You can always view past issues by visiting my website at www.parenting-solutions.com and clicking on the "Archive" page.  Also, let me know if there is a topic that I haven't covered that you would like to see addressed in a future issue.

Thank you for letting other parents know about my website, newsletter, consulting services and workshops.  Virtually all of my clients come to me through personal referral, so I really appreciate your support.

Happy parenting!
 
Meg




Extracurricular Activities: Are You Finding The Right Balance?


Parents often struggle with deciding on the number and type of extracurricular activities to plan for their children.  On the one hand, we want our children to be exposed to experiences that provide structured activities for some of their time outside of school and enhance many aspects of their development.   On the other, it is important for kids to have ample time to just relax, play with siblings and friends, learn how to pursue activities independently and, as they get older, complete homework.  Over-scheduled children are often tired and irritable, and stop applying themselves to their activities as a form of rebellion.  Children who are under-scheduled may be bored and could miss out on opportunities to find their passions.

So, how should parents decide on extracurricular programming for their children?  There is no magic formula for determining every child's optimum schedule, but you can come up with the best combination of outside activities for each child by looking at several factors.
 
� Your child's personality:
Does your child enjoy unstructured time, or does he become bored and restless when he doesn't have a plan?  Some children feel stressed by always having to be somewhere at a particular time and relish the opportunity to have a free afternoon to do whatever they fancy at the moment.  Others like a very structured day and thrive when they have scheduled activities.  Some kids love to be challenged constantly, others are stressed when the demands are high.  Observe your child's behavior in various situations and assess when he seems happiest.  This will help you determine how to balance his time.
 
� Time commitment and intensity required for each activity
Look at the mix of your child's activities in terms of the level of commitment and performance expectations.  For example, my daughter loved ballet classes at the "Mommy and Me" and "Pre-Ballet" levels.  But once she entered the graded levels, and the classes were more serious (with a requirement to take a certain number of classes per week), she became less enthusiastic.  She had other activities on which she was willing to spend many hours each week, but ballet wasn't one of them.  We were able to find a more appropriate recreational dance program for her, and she was much happier.

Make sure your child isn't overloaded with intense activities, and be sure that the ones that do require more of a commitment are the ones that she enjoys the most.

� Your child's interests
Does your child like group activities?  Playing sports?  Participating in competitive situations?  Or does he prefer to spend hours drawing or reading?  Know what your child is passionate about and schedule accordingly; make sure his schedule reflects his interests, not yours.  For example, our second son loved to build all kinds of things when he was young - model kits, free- form structures, furniture for his sister's dolls.  These projects required long spurts of unscheduled time, so we scaled back on all but a few organized activities, and this worked well for him.
 
� Other responsibilities
 Take into account any demands on your child's time that are non-negotiable.  Does she have religious school, a long commute to and from school, or a heavy load of homework? Figure these responsibilities into your equation as structured time.
 
Keep in mind that your children don't have to stick with the first activities they try.  Offer various activities when they are young and see what they enjoy most.  Possibilities include programs or lessons in art, sports (team and individual), acting, chess, language, photography, computers, and music.  Check out offerings at museums, community centers, libraries, and cultural institutions.
 
Re-evaluate your child's activities at the start of each school year or semester.  When your child wants to take on a new activity, or if you decide that she has too many, ask her the following question about each activity in her schedule: "Is this something you look forward to and would really miss if you didn't do it?"  In this way, you can rank each program and decide what might be cut.
 
Parents often worry about over- or under-scheduling their children, but the above guidelines should help you come up with an appropriate schedule of extracurricular activities.  Pay close attention to your child's demeanor and interests; the choices offered and made during his young years may ultimately determine his passions!


PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:

When considering your child's activities, I encourage you to find a way to bring music into your child's life. Music education fosters the development of higher order thinking skills (including analysis, synthesis, logic, and creativity), improved concentration, lengthened attention span, improved memory and retention.  It can also enhance a child's interpersonal skills and ability to work with others in collaborative ways and has been linked to improved academic performance.  And, of course, the joy that comes from listening to and making music is priceless.

You don't need to be a musician to expose your kids to music.  Begin with a box of musical instruments (toy drums, cymbals, maracas, and xylophone - even pots and pans) out in the open in the playroom when your child is very young.  Then consider a formal music activity (i.e. studying an instrument or music classes, such as "Music Together," Dalcroze, or Orff) when your child is a little older.


Do you and your children need a better night's sleep?
Does your baby have daytime and nighttime reversed?
Are you having trouble getting your children to sleep in their own beds?

Do you wish bedtime wasn't a struggle with your kids?

Good sleeping habits are essential for the well-being of your family,
and I have the
experience to help your household get a good night's sleep.  Contact me at [email protected]!

Here's what a client says:
"Our 21-month-old daughter began sleeping through the night immediately after our consultation with Meg (prior to that she had never slept without waking at night). Meg helped us to teach our daughter to sleep through the night, but she also taught us how to develop our own solutions for issues as they come up. Meg's strategies are simple, straightforward and carefully conceived."

 



Interested in setting up a series of parenting workshops at your school or
for your mothers' group? I can propose a variety of topics from sleep issues to sibling
rivalry to communication. Or, you can request subjects that particulary interest your group.
Contact me at [email protected].





Are you struggling with a parenting challenge?  Are you having trouble being consistent? I can help you find practical solutions that will make your job as a parent easier and more enjoyable. Consultations are in person, by phone, or by e-mail, so I am able to work with parents nationwide. Contact me today at [email protected].