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Dear
Now that summer is over and the weather is becoming colder, it's a perfect time to think about indoor activities for kids, which means dusting off the old board games and restocking your toy and game collection. Last month I wrote about how to banish a sense of entitlement in our children, and I do believe that we should avoid excess. Still, you need an adequate supply of toys to keep kids stimulated, so you need to select quality toys that are engaging and have a long life.
In my article below, I offer guidelines to keep in mind when choosing games and toys for all ages. Next month, I will follow up with a newsletter devoted to plenty of specific toy and game gift recommendations for the holidays.
Until then. . . happy parenting.
Meg
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| PLAYROOM MAKEOVER
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Choosing toys and games that keep a child's interest and provide many hours of ongoing entertainment is not easy. Some guidelines, however, will help you build a collection that is varied and engaging.
1) Just as we often gravitate towards purchasing the same kind of clothing for ourselves over and over again, we sometimes, inadvertently, choose toys for our children that are very similar. In order to keep your children engaged and foster their development, you should consider toys and games that encourage various kinds of play:
� Creative vs. structured - Nurture both realms by owning some open-ended toys (e.g., dolls, blocks, art materials) as well as toys that have specific rules (e.g., games, puzzles).
� Number of participants - Have some toys for solitary play and some that your child can play with other children or grown-ups.
� Length of play - Include some that can be played in a short time and require only short attention span, and others that are appropriate for a longer game-playing session and require more focus.
2) Be very selective. Many mediocre toys and games are found in the mainstream toy stores. I suggest that you beware of:
� almost all well-known board games. They are based entirely or mostly on chance, mainly involving players progressing around a board by shaking dice, spinning a spinner, or popping a pop-o-matic. You and your children will lose interest in minutes. Good board games have something interesting happening on each turn and keep players engaged in strategizing or negotiating while others take their turn.
� sets of manipulatives (such as toys with pieces to put together) that don't have enough components and variety to keep a child interested or challenged for more than a few minutes.
� battery-operated toys. In addition to generally offering inferior playing and learning opportunities (including rote learning, which is next on this list), the fact that they break very easily and require frequent battery changes is highly annoying. (The only battery-operated toy I recommend is the electronic globe by LeapFrog.)
� rote-learning toys. "Authentic" learning is more engaging and more effective than rote learning. For example, an interactive computer game showing a child 10 bananas and requiring the player to divide the bananas equally among 5 monkeys is better than a game that simply asks a child to divide 10 by 5.
� games that take more than an hour to play. Unless your children have an exceptionally long attention span, those games will collect dust in the closet.
3) The age guidelines on toys and games should certainly be followed to the extent they relate to possible choking hazards, but should otherwise be used only for general reference. Approriateness depends on your child's skills and ability to follow directions and focus. Carefully consider the specific skills needed to play with a given item (reading reviews is helpful), and then you can determine if your child has the necessary skills or is ready to acquire them.
Choosing games is especially tricky when you have a wide age span of children in your family. Try to pick some games that will be especially good for each child and others that will be good for the whole family. Some games are "simple yet complex" - they are easy to learn with a few simple rules, so young children can play, but they also involve deep strategy, so older children and adult players can be challenged. You can also seek out games that allow the possibility of having older children or adults "team up" with younger children if a game is too difficult for a young child to play without assistance,
4) Keep your child's interests (dinosaurs, trains, fairies, baseball) in mind, but don't limit yourself to looking for toys only within those interests. Branch out so that not all your child's toys center around one theme. You want to open up new worlds for your child and keep her from burning out on one subject. If your child loves horses, not every book, toy, puzzle and game in your playroom needs to be horse-themed.
Begin thinking about whether your child's toy collection meets the above guidelines and where it has gaps. In my November newsletter, I will give some of my picks for toys and games for every age, just in time for your holiday shopping!
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PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:
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Try not to make an impulse purchase. It usually results in a toy that your child plays with for a week (or maybe just a day) and then quickly forgets. If your child sees an item that is "really, really" desirable, tell him/her that you will consider it; you can then put the request on a list for an upcoming birthday or holiday. Do some research and consider fully whether the item is one that the child is likely to play with over and over again or whether it will, though providing momentary elation, fall quickly out of favor. When a few items are on the list, reconsider them with your child; you and your child will likely see that some have fallen out of favor even before they are acquired.
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PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:
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Avoid board games based on TV shows or movies; I have yet to see a good one. Whether it's the "Little Mermaid 3-D Under The Sea Adventure" or "Raiders of the Lost Ark" game, you can be sure that the tie-in will be contrived and the playing mode will be dull and based mostly on chance. They fall in the 'impulse' purchase category -- 'Nuff said!
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Are you struggling with a parenting challenge? Are you having trouble being consistent? I can help you find practical solutions that will make your job as a parent easier and more enjoyable. Consultations are in person, by phone, or by e-mail, so I am able to work with parents nationwide. Contact me today at meg@parenting-solutions.com.
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Are you interested in organizing a parenting workshop at your child's school?
I offer workshops on a variety of topics including Putting an End to Power Struggles
and Developing Good Sleep Habits. I can also tailor sessions to suit your particular audience's
interests. Contact me at meg@parenting-solutions.com and we'll discuss!
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