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April 2008
In This Issue
BIRTHDAY PARTIES: SENDING THE RIGHT MESSAGE
QUICK TIP #1
QUICK TIP #2


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Dear Friends,
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This past month I had a birthday celebration and I want to share with you what made it memorable.  It was low-key (the way I like my birthdays), but it was really quite special because my 16-year-old daughter, Shoshana, planned a "birthday day" just for me.

We went to a 'chick flick' I had been wanting to see, then to Max Brenner's for chocolate fondue, and, lastly, to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to view the new Chinese painting exhibit in the Asian Wing (one of my very favorite places in NYC). She planned the day carefully and secretly, giving utmost attention to my interests; it was amazingly thoughtful, and I'll never forget it!

The experience reminded me of the pleasure that came from planning our children's birthday parties and inspired this month's article "Birthday Parties: Sending the Right Message." Read on, and I'll share my philosophy about kids' birthdays as well as some practical party-planning tips.

Also, check out my website where I've posted new game, book, and music recommendations, perfect for your own children's birthdays or as gifts for others. Just go to www.parenting-solutions.com and click on "Tips/Advice."  There, you'll also find posted answers to parenting questions.  And, while you're there, send me your own parenting questions through the "Contact" page.

Finally, I want to thank all of you who sent me such amazing, positive feedback about my newsletter and website last month; my e-mail in-box was overflowing!  I was truly touched by your wonderful comments.

Until next time, happy parenting and best wishes,

Meg Akabas

Parenting Solutions
(TM)
[email protected]



BIRTHDAY PARTIES: SENDING THE RIGHT MESSAGE

Our family has vivid memories of the children's birthday parties from when they were young, which we still love to recall and share. Why? Because each of the parties was unique and created with lots of attention, imagination and love. We threw a "Polar Bear Party" (in the middle of June),  a "Superhero Spectacular," a "Teddy Bear Picnic," a "Subway Bash," and a "Fairy Tea Party," to name a few highlights.

If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of planning your child's birthday party, welcome to the club. Birthday celebrations are a source of stress for many parents, but, take heart because your child's party can actually be a joyful experience if you put the focus in the right place and approach it in an inspired yet systematic way.

In my opinion, birthday parties are an opportunity to:
1. Celebrate the individuality of your children
2. Show your children how much they mean to you and how much you care about their interests
3. Convey your family values

Planning a birthday party by creatively integrating the children's interests in a meaningful (and not necessarily expensive) way, demonstrates how much you care for them. It will also give them very happy memories and teach them that wonderful things can be created with some effort, resourcefulness, and inspiration.

Step one: Pick a theme that resonates for your child. If you don't already know what they are absolutely crazy about, find out! You can turn any theme into a party - from a favorite color, animal, or story, to a favorite activity. The only criteria is that it be something your child currently can't get enough of. Our themes have included: the beach, miniatures, Winnie the Pooh, sports, robotics, trains, dinosaurs, game shows, and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Step two: Brainstorm kid-friendly, age-appropriate activities stemming from the theme. One can capitalize on a theme in a myriad of ways, including cooperative games, art projects, cooking, various kinds of hunts (e.g., treasure hunt, scavenger hunt, a hunt with clues), obstacle courses, and memory games. Taking it one step further, you can also write an imaginary story line for the entire party and link the activities with the story as it unfolds.

For example, for my youngest son's "Subway Bash" on his fifth birthday started with us telling the children that they would be taking a subway (actually a long structure in our hallway built from large boxes) to get to Lev's party. The kids loved crawling through the 'subway,' with their little party favor flashlights as headlights, and getting off at different 'stops' for each activity or game (which were connected thematically to actual New York City subway stops), before finally 'arriving' in the dining room for birthday cake (shaped and decorated like a subway, of course).

Creating a unique party for your child definitely takes thought and preparation, but the process itself can actually be a lot of fun and a wonderful collaborative experience for the family. When planning our parties, we let the birthday boy/girl choose the theme, but then we planned the details in secret, often with help from the siblings.

If you can't (or don't want to) hold a party for umpteen children in your home, perhaps a friend or relative will be willing to lend you their place, or you can rent a room at a party space, community center, etc. But, I encourage you, the parents, to be the key figures in planning and running the party (even if you hire someone with a specific expertise to instruct the children in a special activity). Your child will know that you put the time and effort into creating a magical party geared to his/her passion, and that will make all the difference. The wonderful memories will be worth it!

Need some more guidance in creating a special birthday party?  I've got TONS of ideas! Contact me at [email protected].



PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:

The guests at your child's birthday party will not all arrive at the same moment, so be sure to set up an activity (an art project is perfect) to engage children as they arrive and to keep them busy until everyone else comes. You can't expect small children to sit and chat while they wait and, if you don't have something to channel their excitement, chaos will likely ensue!

PARENTING SOLUTIONS QUICK TIP:

Incorporate a 'story time' into your child's birthday party; pick a great picture book that works in with your party's theme. Alternatively, let a favorite book be the theme, reading it at the outset as a launching point for the rest of the party's activities.



Stressed out about your child's birthday party? Need help planning a personalized, creative event that will be memorable for your child and his/her friends? Let me help you design a unique, age-appropriate, fun party, customized to embrace your child's interest, and give you great tips for making the party run smoothly.


Not sure you're picking the best toys and games as presents, or even for your own children? 
Are you interested in games that enhance language development? Toys that encourage cooperation?
I will help you select just the right toys, games or books for any child. 
Bring it on! Visit www.parenting-solutions.com and click on "Contact."