Letter from the CEO Greetings Momentum Subscribers,
As we watch the US Presidential race take off, it reminds many of us of the politics we deal with at work.
OFFICE POLITICS is our topic for this issue of Momentum. What can you do when your job is overwhelmed by negotiating a tough political landscape? Backstabbing, gossip, manipulation, bullies, victims, and lots of wasted time are just a few of the red flags that tell us to watch out and think about how to survive - and thrive - in a political organization.
When bright and talented people act like they're in junior high school you know you're dealing with a systemic problem. If the system is bringing out the worst in it's people, it's time for a change.
Karlin Sloan
CEO
Karlin Sloan & Company
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"If Only I Had Courage"
Authenticity and Politics: How to Stay Real and not Sacrifice Your Job
by Nicey Hilton
A manager at a major corporation said to me, "The biggest leadership gap at my company is courage - the willingness to be honest when things aren't right - rather than the endless cheerleading squad." An image of the cowardly Lion in "the Wizard of Oz", immediately popped into my head. I wish I had the Wizard's magic "Courage Potion" so she could spike their drinks! But I don't. And in actuality the wizard solved the Lion's courage problem with a little double talk (suggesting that, in fact, he had courage all along); being scared was simply being authentic to himself, and fear didn't discount the fact that he was performing truly brave deeds. So here's my magic potion to be "the courageous & authentic Lion" in a scary political workplace.
First, remember what being authentic means:
· Not false or copied: genuine and original, not cookie cutter
· Trustworthy: shown to be true and trustworthy. Undisputed credibility
Next, how do you get there? By being honest in a way that doesn't shut down the listener. Know:
· How to listen and be listened to
· How to question and invite questions
in a way that invites collaboration.
Listen
Do you really understand their point of view? The principals of being authentic in the workplace tie in really well with having authentic relationships in your private life. John M. Gottman, Ph.D. is one of the country's foremost relationship experts. He says,
"People rarely ask questions. When people ask me questions, it's an invitation. And a statement is like 'take that'. None of this can be phony - it's got to come out of your personality, be real and natural. Only ask questions you want to know the answer to."
Try asking,
· What do you want? Ask them about their goals & challenges
· What would be a fulfilling means to get there?
· What is it about this that concerns you/motivates you?
· At your best, what qualities & capabilities do you bring to this situation?
Questioning on a two-way street
Do your colleagues feel respected, understood, or that you're interested in them? How can you have an authentic conversation about your needs or concerns if they don't see you as an ally? Don't waste their time. Don't waste yours. Being authentic in business is about connecting, sharing, learning and helping. It's a two-way street.
· If you think of a resource that might help them, offer it
· Build a habit of mind that scans for things to admire in partners and colleagues. And express it in words and actions.
· Talk without getting into contempt
· Accept responsibility for any negative role you played in problem situations
· And when compromise means success to an organization,
o What are core areas you can't yield to?
o Where are you both flexible? Where, when, how things will be done.
o What is your common ground? What are our guiding feelings, our common values and goals?
Speak Their Language
If you're going to fall into a political mud-hole, are there ways to convey your message that the decision makers will connect with?
· Start with an "I" statement. "I feel upset. I feel anxious. I feel frustrated." vs. "It's all your fault that I feel lousy."
· Describe what's happening without evaluative judgment
· Ask them to describe their "reality" of the situation
· Clearly state what you need
· Give appreciations
· Offer potential solutions and ask for suggestions
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Bullies, Gossips, and Manipulators: Disarming Difficult Behavior at Work*
by Laurel Donnellan and Karlin Sloan
As someone who's seen a lot of different organizations, I can say this: every organization has some, and before you start worrying and adding to the problem by reacting, there are some simple strategies that can help.
TOP FIVE WAYS TO DEAL WITH BAD BEHAVIOR AT WORK
(without calling the boss)
1. Know your own defensive style - how do you behave when you're not at your best - do you get quiet, belligerent, frustrated, or shut down? Once we know our own defensive style we can have greater compassion for others and stop ourselves from escalating any upset.Judgement can get in our way when we see bad behavior.
2. Set clear boundaries - make sure when someone is behaving badly to calmly set perameters around what you will tolerate and not tolerate.
3. Look for underlying needs - what is driving the behavior? are there questions you could ask to elicit some thoughtful response rather than a difficult one?
4. Reframe complaints - what request is embedded in a complaint? If Sally complains about everyone on the team, there must be a request for change in there somewhere. Help Sally to reframe her complaint to a constructive ask.
5. Step away - sometimes stepping away is the best way of assuring you won't be directly impacted. Just be sure to step away from the behavior rather than the person.
*Adapted from a 1 day course for managers created by KS&C entitled "Disarming Difficult Behaviors"
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Quotations
"In politics, strangely enough, the best way to play your cards is to lay them face upwards on the table." - H.G. Wells
"The person who says "I'm not political" is in great danger.... Only the fittest will survive, and the fittest will be the ones who understand their office's politics." - Jean Hollands
"Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed. He who molds public sentiment goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or decisions possible or impossible to execute." - Abraham Lincoln
"I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you." - Ann Richards
"What we need is a rebirth of satire, of dissent, of irreverence, of an uncompromising insistence that phoniness is phony and platitudes are platitudinous." - Arthur Schlessinger, Jr.
"Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule." - Nietzsche
"A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected" - Carl Sandburg
"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." - Confucius
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