Listen Well & Use Pen and Paper

Full disclosure: I have a hard time remembering things I don't make notes about. I've been known to hide in a corner or go to the restroom to scribble notes on the back of a business card or whatever sliver of "something" I can find to write on. I really, really care to make good connections and be diligent in my follow-ups and I think I've used just about every trick in the book to figure out how to discreetly take the notes that I need to do the job I believe I need to do. Yes, I'll admit I've even written on my hand or my wrist. Nowhere else, though.

Knowing that I want to have good notes and do a good job of following up means that I work hard on being a good listener. I'm generally not a good listener. I'd like to be, but ask those around me and they'll tell you I sometimes listen so fast, I'm in the middle of solving the problem or wanting to say something before I even know for sure what is being said. So I work hard to listen well.

There was a time I thought I could overcome my intense need to have notes and be efficient by using my handheld, portable device or worse yet, bring a laptop into a meeting with me. Oh, and yes, I've been one of those at a presentation that, instead of focusing on the speaker, my head is buried while my thumbs are tapping away trying to capture important points that I just know are going to be incredibly important at some point Shame on me.

You and I both know that in today's world of constant distractions and interruptions, people who truly listen stand out. Their ability to listen makes others feel valued, important and heard. I actually practice, because I have to, because it doesn't happen naturally...listening with all my senses, watching for the meaning or intent behind the speaker's words, observing body language and paying attention to tonality. Trust me; none of this comes natural to me. I have to turn off my auto response brain so I don't talk too much, and try to use both verbal and nonverbal language so my genuine interest comes through.

So what the heck was I thinking every time I pulled out a laptop and put a physical barrier between me and the people I'm having an opportunity to actually interact with? What in the world am I thinking as my thumbs are running furiously across the keyboard, that makes me put my head down to make sure I'm not typing total gobbledygook. My drive for process and efficiency sometimes gets out of control. I'm sure I sometimes miss important points because I'm forgetting to practice what I know to be good listening skills. So, as much as I love laptops, handhelds, smartphones, iPads and any other electronic things I can put my hands on, I do best when I have a pencil or pen and paper. The pen and paper allow me to draw concepts which are nice shortcuts and is so much less intrusive and distracting to those around me. It's much more polite.

Somehow, when I'm writing I tend to remember the basics I learned in school, which are simple: record the date, time, and meeting title, and then engage my eyes and ears, and jot down the to-dos, decisions and information that needs to be captured and not much more. I'm trying to learn to put action items together, decisions together and reference information together, and pull together a brief summary at the end.

So, I've seen the error of my ways and know that pen and paper are best. I recognize that using pen and paper is an inexpensive solution...heck, I can even borrow a pen and paper. But I've got to admit, there's something I want for my next birthday...an EPOS - Digital Pen and USB Drive. This funky, wonderful thing looks like it will support my good behaviors and the not so good ones I'm working to improve. I hope someone reading this has actually used this cool thing and will tell me it's everything I want it to be so I can keep it on my wish list. But even if it's too expensive at somewhere around $100, or just doesn't do what I want it to and so I won't have one, I know for sure, pen and paper is where I need to be.

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