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Last month, I discussed Self-Concept as one
of two concepts that are necessary for mental
health. The other is Self-Efficacy. I define
self-efficacy as the belief an individual has
in his or her capabilities to face and
overcome adversities or events in their lives.
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Self-Efficacy
Early in my career I learned that there are 3
things you can do when faced with a problem.
You can accept the problem and deal with it,
you can accept the problem and not deal with
it, or you can resist the problem exists and
continue to suffer. Sounds a lot like the
serenity prayer, but it is rational. If a
problem exist then denying that it exist is
foolish and not realistic. Unconditional
acceptance of the problem is the first step
in solving it, if that is what you choose to
do. If not, then its the first step in making
peace with it.
However, many people choose to avoid or deny
the problem exist. Many avoid it because they
don't believe they can handle it, deal with
it, or stand it. For example, a problem in a
marriage. Many deny there is a problem and
continue to live miserable. They don't
believe in themselves to overcome the
results of solving the problem, which may be
divorce, so they avoid
it.
When individuals have a healthy
self-efficacy, they believe in themselves to
be able to face and overcome any problem,
including one within their marriage. They
believe realistically and logically that no
matter what happens with the marriage, they
will be fine. They will not cease to exist.
However, those that don't believe they can
face and overcome problems, tend to avoid,
withdraw, and reinforce the problem and their
lack of self-efficacy.
You can change
this. You can start with small problems,
issues, or situations that need to be
addressed, but you have been putting it off
because you are scared. Start small and build
your sense of trust, inner strength, and
self-efficacy by facing small challenges. You
may want to make a list of
things that need to be dealt with.
Soon, you will notice that you have a strong
self-concept and self-efficacy. Imagine the
day when you believe in yourself to be the
best you can be, comfortable in your skin and
not worried about what others say or believe
about you, and with the inner strength of
facing whatever life challenge that comes
your way head on because you know that at the
end it will always be all right.
The Jove Institute
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Lots of love, health, and happiness!
Sincerely,
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