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Self-Concept or how you think of yourself, is
one of two fundamental beliefs that make up
your mood. The other, which I will write
about next time is Self-Efficacy or how you
think you will do when faced with an
adversity or problem.
For example, if you believe you are not good
enough
(self-concept) then you may feel depressed;
if you believe you "can stand it" no matter
what happens (self-efficacy), then you may
feel motivated to take risks.
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Self-Concept
When working with clients, I tend to focus on
strengthening self-concept and self-efficacy.
I will speak more about self-efficacy in the
next newsletter/video, this month however, I
want to write about self-concept and how to
strengthen it.
If you think about self-concept and
self-efficacy as the only 2 things you need
to change in order to improve your mood, then
it may seem easier to jump in and start
making changes!
Self-concept is this idea that you have
about yourself. You can think of yourself as
a worthwhile individual, with lots to offer
others and full of fun and excitement about
the future. Or, you can think of yourself as
a worthless individual with no friends,
crappy job, pessimistic attitude, and a poor
outlook on the future. Either way, it's a
subjective view of yourself built entirely in
your mind about the way you view this world,
others, and yourself.
People come to therapy for help in thinking
clearer. When depressed or
anxious, its easier to behave in
self-destructive ways, and more difficult to
think clear
or rational. But, as we start to think more
realistic about our lives and possibilities,
then we start to see
how possible it is to think, feel, and behave
the way
that we want to.
This is the
fundamental theory of Rational Emotive Behavior
Therapy. If you don't want to feel depressed
or anxious, then you need to learn how to
think differently, specifically more
rational. So, how do you do that?
Sit down in
a quiet comfortable place and ask yourself.
If you were to go to sleep and wake up and
your life was just as you would want it to
be, how would that look? Write down the
things that would be going on. What will you
be doing differently? How will you be
thinking? What will you be feeling? Now, take
a minute and go through your list.
Now, repeat the exercise, but this time
adding the limitation that all external
things (job, friends, family, life
situations) would be the same as their are in
your life today.
Compare the two
lists
If you are like most, you will notice that
the only things you need to change is your
thinking, emoting (feelings), and behaviors.
You do that by bringing awareness to your
thinking and behaving, and making difficult
choices to change.
Now, as far as the first list, you are
correct, by strengthening your
self-concept, the external things you
hoped for in the exercise will become easier
to achieve.
The Jove Institute
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Lots of love, health, and happiness!
Sincerely,
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