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In therapy, we spend a lot of time setting
goals.
We set goals for the session,
weekly goals (homework), intermediate therapy
goals, and goals to end therapy.
If you think about it, that's a lot
of goal setting. Goal setting has several
benefits; first, you are able to visualize
the end product of something you are working
really hard at achieving. Also, when you
reach a goal, you have evidence that you have
what it takes to set and reach a goal. And
finally, once you get good at setting and
reaching your goals in therapy, you have the
confidence of being able to do it yourself.
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Setting Goals
There are many techniques people use for
setting goals. My favorite one is setting 3-months, 6-
months, and 1-year goals. The benefit: a 12-month
plan." If you don't reach your 3-months goals,
then that affects your 6-month and 12-month
goals, so the pressure is on to meet your 3-month
goals.
Therefore, you should
set your 3-month goals as easily attainable.
Here is how you do this.
- Sit down when your emotions are pretty stable (if
possible).
- Take out your journal and write down where you
would like to be in 12 months.
- Make a comprehensive list of where you would be
intellectually, emotionally, professionally, and
personally.
- Then look back over the list and remove any
redundant items.
Next, use the same list to create
the 6-months goals and your 3-months goals. The 3-
months
goals are going to
be your motivator to keep you going toward
the 6 and 12 month goals.
In thinking about where you want to be in 12 months,
you
should break your aspirations down into steps, in 3-
and 6-month cycles. After you have made your list and
checked it for redundancy, you should then look to see
what can be accomplished in 3 months, what can be
accomplished over 6 months, and lastly, what can be
accomplished over 12 months to help you reach your
goal at the end of the year.
That's it!
Use your journal to help you keep track of your goals. If
you don't
reach your 3-month goals, it is not the end
of the world. Simply repeat the process and
start again. Do not continue toward the 6-month goals
until you have achieved the 3-month goals.
Good Luck!
The Jove Institute
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Acceptance
I often speak about accepting reality, but sometimes
find it very difficult to articulate what I mean by
accepting reality without surrendering.
I will give this
another shot in this newsletter since I have
written about setting goals.
I can
see how people become confused about the idea
of accepting what is going on in their lives
today, not surrendering to the situation,
and setting goals for the future. These 3
concepts seem to conflict.
And, maybe they
do.
However, if we look at acceptance
as recognizing a situation and acknowledging
that it exists, then that may make it easier
to see how goal setting logically follows.
Say for example that you are in a difficult
situation financially and emotionally because
you have more bills than you have income.
And, you have a relationship
that is slowly falling apart. No one would
argue that you are in a difficult situation.
By accepting this situation, you are
not surrendering to it. You are being aware
of the situation and accepting that it exist.
You are not resisting by saying to yourself
that it "should not be
this way," or that "you will never come out
of it." By accepting that these situations
exist in your life, you can make a goal to
get yourself out of the situation. Then, work
toward the goal.
Try to look at these
things as situations not problems. Situations
are simply things to deal with today, or
leave aside for a later time; they are
generally external. When people talk about
"problems" we often get the feeling that it's
a long term internal issue that is not
easily solvable-like social problems, health
problems, or emotional problems.
The Jove Institute
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Lots of love, health, and happiness!
Sincerely,
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