|
|
I spent this week with a group of very intelligent and
experienced psychotherapists. More than once this
question came up, "What do you think is the most
common disturbance in today's society?" Many of the
answers
were
insightful, however I kept coming back to
Insecurity. I believe that if people overcame
their irrational beliefs that cause their insecurity,
they will suffer less anxiety, depression, jealousy,
shame, guilt, and anger.
If you're wondering how you found yourself on
this list, it's because I know you and I
wanted to share this information with you. If
at anytime you wish to stop receiving e-mails
from me, please scroll down to the
unsubscribe option, where you will be removed.
 |
|
|
Feeling Insecure
If we take a minute and look at common beliefs that
cause
1) Anxiety,
2) Depression,
3) Guilt,
4) Shame,
and
5) Anger,
we will see that they are rooted
in
insecurity:
1- In Depression we often see thoughts of self-
devaluation. Devaluations are irrational insecurities
about your self-worth.
2- In Anxiety we often see Awfulizing, Catastrophizing,
and an exaggerated irrational insecurity that you are
not going to be able to "stand" an event that you
fear.
3/4- In Guilt and Shame you are not secure enough to
accept that you made a mistake, and instead devalue
yourself by
by globally rating yourself as a bad person.
4- And in Anger, you are not secure enough to accept
that others could do as they please without
allowing it to affect your self worth.
As you can see in the examples above the core belief
is that you are not good enough.
This is profound! But how do we get rid of these
insecurities that are running rampant in our society?
What's been shown to work is CBT/REBT. In
CBT/REBT we identify the thoughts that maintain the
belief, challenge the thoughts and come up with
rational alternative thoughts and beliefs. I will write
more on insecurities in the coming months, look out
for it!
The Jove Institute
|
|
|
|
|
Social Phobia
A woman hates to stand in line at the grocery store
because she's afraid that everyone is watching her.
She knows that it's not really true, but she can't shake
the feeling. While she is shopping, she is conscious
of the fact that people might be staring at her from the
big mirrors on the inside front of the ceiling. Now, she
has to talk to the cashier. She tries to smile and start a
conversation, but her voice comes out
weakly. She's sure she's making a fool of herself. Her
self-consciousness and anxiety rise to the
roof...
A man finds it difficult to walk down the
street because he's self-conscious and feels that
people are watching him from their windows. Worse,
he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be
forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do
that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak,
and the other person will know he's frightened. More
than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know
that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from
anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home
without having to talk to anyone.
Another
young man wants to go to parties and other social
events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never
goes anywhere because he's very nervous about
meeting new people. Too many people will be there
and crowds only make things worse for him. The
thought of meeting new people scares him---will he
know what to say? Will they stare at him and make
him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him
outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice
his frozen look and his inability to relax. They'll
sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't
like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always
going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends
the night alone, at home, watching television again.
He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only
place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't
gone anywhere else in twelve years.
Social
anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in
the United States today. This type of anxiety affects 15
million Americans in any given year. Unlike some
other psychological problems, social anxiety is not
well understood by the general public or by medical
and mental health care professionals, such as
doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists,
social workers, and counselors.
In fact,
people with
social anxiety are misdiagnosed almost 90% of the
time.
As with all problems, everyone with
social anxiety has slightly different secondary
symptoms. Some people, for example, cannot write in
public because they fear people are watching and
their hand will shake. Others are very introverted and
they find it too difficult to hold down a job. Still others
have severe anxiety about eating or drinking in the
presence of other people. Some people with social
anxiety feel that a certain part of their body (such as
the face or neck) are particularly "strange looking" and
vulnerable to being stared at. Others experience a
muscle spasm (usually around the neck and
shoulders) and it becomes the center of their focus ---
"it's so embarrassing that if someone sees it I will be
humiliated forever!"
One thing that all socially anxious people share is the
knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically
irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that
others are really not critically judging or evaluating
them all the time. They understand that people are not
trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize
that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat
exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational
knowledge, they still continue to feel differently.
How can social anxiety be treated? Many
therapeutic methods have been studied, but cognitive-
behavioral therapy is the only modality that has been
shown to work effectively. In fact, treatment of social
anxiety through cognitive-behavioral methods has the
capacity to produce long-lasting, permanent relief
from the anxiety-laden world of social anxiety.
Taken from The Social Phobia/Social Anxiety
Association.
The Social Phobia/Social Anxiety Association.
|
|
Lots of love, health, and happiness!
Sincerely,
|
|
