Silencing Skeptics: The Truth About
ADHD
What is ADD? Does medication really help? Can
adults have ADHD? Learn to clear up common
misperceptions about ADHD with authority.
by Deborah Carpenter
The debate about attention deficit disorder
(ADD ADHD) is over. O-V-E-R. Just about every
mainstream medical, psychological, and
educational organization in the U.S. long ago
concluded that ADD is real, and that children
and adults with attention deficit disorder
benefit from appropriate treatment. Yet,
somehow, the world still seems to be filled
with self-appointed ADD "experts" - some
well-meaning, some sanctimonious - who insist
on burdening us with their ill-informed
opinions and asking repeatedly, "What is ADD?"
We've all heard the comments: "ADD is bunk!"
"Can't people take responsibility for their
own actions anymore?" "All that so-called ADD
kids really need is discipline!" "Drug
companies invented ADD so they could sell
stimulants." Blah, blah, blah.
We expect to hear such nonsense from
misinformed movie stars ranting on talk
shows. But what about the know-it-all who
happens to be a friend? Your child's teacher?
A co-worker - or your boss? What about a
member of your own family?
Let's be honest: Words hurt. Holier-than-thou
barbs, fault-finding, and finger-pointing can
make you resentful and just plain furious.
"Discussing ADD can be as touchy as talking
about politics or religion," says Susan
Ashley, Ph.D., author of The ADD and ADHD
Answer Book. "Feelings get hurt, defenses go
up, and relationships suffer when there are
disagreements about it." In extreme
situations, families disintegrate, and kids
and grownups who need help don't get it.
Should you bite your tongue and walk away?
Make a sharp retort? Make an effort to
educate the ignoramus? A jab to the nose
might make you feel better, but it probably
isn't the best solution.
Here are the five varieties of ADD naysayers
out there, and the right ways to respond to
each.
The Skeptic
The Skeptic denies the very existence of ADD,
calling it a phantom that was cooked up as an
excuse for bad parenting. He maintains that
ADD would go away if parents simply reined in
their brats and stopped letting them run
amok. What about the adults who say they have
ADD? "Why," says The Skeptic, "they just need
to grow up and take responsibility for their
shortcomings, rather than blaming an illness."
No one questions the existence of diabetes,
heart disease, or migraine headaches, says
Philip Levin, Ph.D., director of The Help
Group/UCLA Neuropsychology Program. Yet, he
says, people who don't know better question
the existence of ADD - despite a body of
research indicating that it is a
neurobiological disorder that affects 5 to 10
percent of children and 3 to 6 percent of all
adults.
Given a wealth of evidence, the National
Institute of Mental Health has concluded that
ADD is a real medical condition. So has the
American Psychological Association, which
includes ADD in its Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the
bible of mental-health professionals. And the
U.S. Department of Education requires
educational institutions to provide special
accommodations to kids with ADD - it's the
law.
When Suzanne Herman, of Tyler, Texas,
encounters Skeptics, she tells them the
reason they don't "believe in" ADD is that
they've probably been lucky enough never to
have experienced it, either in themselves or
in a loved one. "If my ADD son could exert
the control necessary to conform, he would,"
Herman says. "No child would choose to be
isolated and punished constantly."
Indeed. "Unless ADD hits close to home, one
may never totally understand it," says Luanne
Southern, the senior director of prevention
and children's mental health at the National
Mental Health Association in Alexandria,
Virginia.
Shantella Benson, whose 10-year-old daughter
has ADD, takes another approach with The
Skeptic: She simply steers the conversation
to a more benign topic. "Changing the subject
saves me from having to get into a heated
conversation in front of my daughter," the
Torrance, California, resident says. "I've
been trying to help her learn to control her
emotions. It wouldn't help to see me blow my
stack."
Hard facts are often the best ammunition to
use against The Skeptic. "Direct the skeptic
to CHADD, order him a subscription to
ADDitude or give him copies of relevant
articles, and take him to a support group
meeting," Southern says. If that doesn't
convince him that ADD is real, it's likely
that nothing will.
When Elisabeth Carnell of Kalamazoo,
Michigan, comes across people who pooh-pooh
her nine-year-old daughter's ADD, she gives
them information about the condition and
shares her experiences with it. If these
strategies fail, she calls the errant
comments what they are: "bull#!^@."
If you prefer sarcasm to scatology, try,
"Gosh, it must be nice to be smarter than
thousands of doctors, scientists, and
psychologists."
The Crusader
The Crusader takes a holier-than-thou
approach, second-guessing adults who take ADD
medications and parents who give them to
their kids. "I would never take a stimulant
medication or give one to my child," he
proclaims. "Ritalin is 'kiddie cocaine.'"
Actually, study after study has shown ADD
medications to be highly effective at curbing
impulsivity and distractibility. Like all
drugs, ADD meds have side effects - but
dependency is not a major one. In most cases,
the benefits of taking ADD medication far
outweigh the risks. "Ritalin has been used to
treat ADHD for over 30 years," Dr. Levin
says. "We have countless scientific studies
on the safety of Ritalin. In fact, some of
the drugs that children routinely take for
asthma and cancer haven't been studied nearly
as much as Ritalin."
Caryn Stevens, of Midlothian, Texas, wishes
people weren't quick to assume that her
decision to medicate her 11-year-old twins
was a hasty one. In fact, quite a while
passed before she agreed to medicate her
boys, even after doctors urged her to do so.
The same was true for Jennifer Andrews of
Virginia Beach, Virginia. "My husband and I
were against drugs for children - until we
had an ADHD child," Andrews says. "Our
daughter literally cannot sit still to eat
her breakfast without medication. I learned
the hard way that you must get the facts and
have some experience before spouting off
about something."
Make it clear to The Crusader that you feel
drug therapy for ADD is not a cause for
shame. Medicating your child doesn't make you
a lazy or incompetent parent. It shows that
you are an effective parent. "You don't need
to explain to anyone why you are medicating
your child," Dr. Ashley says. "Forget what
others think. Instead, ask yourself how you
feel about your choice to medicate. If you're
at peace with it, the opinions of others
should not matter to you."
Next time someone says, "I would never... ,"
look him in the eye and ask, "If you had
diabetes, would you not take insulin? Would
you deny insulin to a child who had diabetes?
Then why should I withhold appropriate
medication from my child?"
"Ultimately," Caryn Stevens says, "I think it
would be a crime not to give my boys every
resource available to enable their success."
The Joker
The Joker takes potshots at ADD, using
sarcasm and pretending that his barbs are
innocuous, says Lillian Glass, Ph.D., the
Beverly Hills, California-based author of
Toxic People. A Joker might say, "I wish I
had ADD! At least then I'd have an excuse for
my bad behavior." Or, "Pass the Ritalin - I
could use a (wink, wink) 'boost.'" Other
Jokers make "clever" twists on the ADD
acronym, claiming that it really stands for
"Adequate Discipline Deficiency."
The intent of such comments, of course, is to
have fun at your expense. But if you show
anger or indignation, The Joker protests, "I
was just kidding." Marilyn Cullinane, a
63-year-old ADDer from Lowell, Massachusetts,
once had a boss who joked endlessly about her
ADD. Whenever she made a mistake, he would
say - loud enough for all to hear - "ADD got
the best of you again, huh, Marilyn?"
Mick Quinn, the author of Power and Grace:
The Four Steps to Authentic Joy, suggests
that "selective silence" can be a good way to
counter The Joker. "As soon as you realize
that someone is being nasty, choose not to
respond," he says. "This was how Gandhi did
it - and note the results."
Cullinane put up with her boss's teasing
until she found a new job. Then she wrote a
letter to her former corporate headquarters,
detailing her abuse at the hands of her boss
- and he was fired.
Of course, Cullinane had another option, as
does any ADDer who is harassed on the job:
legal action. But before resorting to this,
Philadelphia-based employment lawyer Robin
Bond suggests being direct: "When you say X,
I feel Y," or "Mocking my medical condition
is hurtful, and I'd like you to stop." If the
direct approach fails, Bond says, consider
moving up the chain of command or consulting
a lawyer.
The Ostrich
The Ostrich can't accept that any person
(including himself or his own child) has ADD
- even in the face of evidence to the
contrary. "There's nothing wrong with me," he
says. "I just take things as they come and
try not to tie myself down with plans." Or,
in response to news that his child has been
diagnosed with ADD, he might inform the
doctor, "There's nothing wrong with my kid
that an old-fashioned spanking won't cure."
No matter how fervently the pediatrician,
psychologist, teacher, or family member waves
the red flag, The Ostrich cannot (or won't)
accept the ADD diagnosis.
"Acceptance can be hard, since ADD is
considered a mental disorder," Southern says.
Some people resist testing altogether because
they can't acknowledge even the possibility
that such a disorder runs in the family.
If you're married to an Ostrich, say, "This
is not about you or how you feel about ADD.
It's about our child and what we need to do
for her." It might take awhile, but most
Ostriches eventually pull their heads out of
the sand. Don't give up
The Voice of Doom
The Voice of Doom sees a bleak future for ADD
kids, warning that "People who have ADD never
amount to anything. They all lead lives of
failure and disappointment." The Voice of
Doom ignores the evidence suggesting that
people with ADD are often energetic,
intelligent, and creative.
Maybe your child won't grow up to be Steven
Spielberg or Michael Jordan. Or maybe he
will. After all, both Spielberg and Jordan
have ADD. Apparently, so did Thomas Edison,
Agatha Christie, Ludwig van Beethoven, Henry
Ford, and Vincent van Gogh.
The honor roll goes on and on, reminding us
that ADDers can live rich, productive lives.
"We may be inconsistent, and less productive,
in the short run," says Scott Nipper, a
teacher with ADD from Houston. "But we're
more likely to accomplish big things through
our passionate, hyperfocused pursuit of
projects. What seem like off-task
distractions can sometimes lead to great
innovations."
What's the best defense against a Voice of
Doom? A strong offense. Marcia Conner, of
Staunton, Virginia, is a former corporate
executive who now runs a small company. She
tells each Voice of Doom she encounters, "I
have fresh ideas, endless energy, and an
Olympic-level multitasking ability. I can't
imagine how people without ADD excel in
business. It's my competitive advantage!"
Next time you're face-to-face with Eeyore,
turn the tables. Say, "If Richard Branson can
found Virgin Records and Virgin Atlantic
Airways, despite having ADD, I'm not worried
about my son," or "If my daughter turns out
as well as Suzanne Somers or Whoopi Goldberg,
who both have ADD, that's fine with me!"
No doubt about it, ADD makes it hard to
navigate the "normal world." But with
appropriate support, Luanne Southern says,
"ADD individuals can lead happy, healthy
lives."
And maybe, just maybe, extraordinary lives.
Our thanks to ADDitude Magazine for permission to
reprint this article. This article originally appeared in
the August/September 2006 issue of ADDitude.
