"How are you?" said Mike  waiting for the usual reply from his friend.

"Fantastic" said Barry with a big smile.

John joined them near the coffee dispensers and Mike turned to him.  "Hi John, how's things?" 

""Brilliant," said John, "couldn't be better!".

Mike looked over John's shoulder and his stomach churned as he could see Dave heading towards the group.  Dave was known as "Mr Positive" amongst this busy breakfast networking club and Mike wasn't sure if he could take anymore positivity - especially from someone that was massively successful already.  "Hi Dave, good to see you", said Mike through gritted teeth and a fake smile.  "How are you today?"

"Tremendous - any better and I'd be in love with myself" said Dave with a spring in his step and wink in his eye.

Mike felt lost.

He felt an urge to walk out of the meeting and wondered if he was the only one feeling lonely, worried and in need of support.  That's partly why he came along to the breakfast meeting.  Yes, it was  to help grow his business but it was also because it was a lonely experience being self employed.  Mike wanted to feel he was amongst kindred spirits, but here, everyone seemed to be massively successful and unbelievably positive.  Mike felt more alone than he had felt in some time.

A voice behind him interrupted his thoughts.

"Hi Mike, my name is Peter - how are you?"

Mike paused and wondered what to say.  Should he tell Peter how he really felt or play the game of positivity that everyone else at the breakfast meeting seemed to enjoy playing.  Before he could answer, Peter put his hand on shoulder.  "It's OK Mike, I hate all this false positivity too.  I'm brilliant, but my business is struggling and I'd love someone to help me - is that how you feel?"

Mike felt the rush of release. "Exactly!" he exclaimed at Peter.  "That's just how I feel - I'm really positive about what I'm doing but  there are days when I have doubts and everyone else seems to be buzzing and successful.  It makes me feel like I'm failing for feeling low or uneasy."

"Oh that's just unauthentic optimism" said Peter.

"Unauthentic optimism? What's that?" asked Mike.

Peter looked at Mike and smiled. "That's when people think its weak to admit that things aren't going well and they are worried that if they don't confirm to the positive mantra, that people won't buy from them. Its fear Mike, and fear is not positive - it's the most negative emotion of all."

Mike felt the release he was searching for.  "You mean that some of these people that appear to be permanently positive are lying to themselves and to us?"

"I'm afraid so" said Peter.  "There are a few people that simply are able to be positive all the time and live without fear and doubt.  But these are the few whereas the many are simply like you and me Mike - but they are frightened to admit it."

"Gosh - that makes this whole networking thing a bit of a sham really doesn't it?  Most people here are looking for help but no-one is asking for it.  It doesn't make sense!" 

"It's OK Mike" said Peter.  "It's what you feel in your own heart that matters most, not the words you say to others.  It's not weak to feel frightened, worried or unsuccessful.  What's important is to know that you are heading the right way, 'on track' or fulfilling your destiny. These are the important things.  Saying you're 'brilliant' to yourself when you feel down and worried can displace your own negativity and over time, it can help you.  Saying you're brilliant to other people when you feel down and worried is also a good way to "fake it till you make it".  But the most important place to feel brilliant is in your heart - and only you can do this Mike.  Everything else is just an act.  The real place to be brilliant is within you..."

Mike felt a lump in his throat.  He knew Peter was right  and the most important place to be brilliant was in his heart.  Mike was happy to play the positive game with his networking friends but felt secure that he could do so in the knowledge that underneath their unauthentic optimism was the same doubts and fears that Mike felt too.  Mike turned to speak to Peter...but he was gone.

"Hey Dave, have you seen Peter?"  

"Peter who?" said Dave looking perplexed.  "There is no-one called Peter here this morning".

Mike scanned the room.  "I was just talking to him Dave - he was right next to me".

"You weren't talking to anyone Mike, you seemed to be lost in your thoughts."

Mike looked around again.  There was no sign of Peter.  Then he spotted Steve who appeared to be talking to himself.  And Mike smiled and wondered.....

The cold mornings continue and you will have been faced with clearing your car from frost before you could get in to drive. 

The car windscreen is covered with ice and you can't see where you need to go.  You have choices on how you can clear the ice:-

1. Spend some time removing the ice with a scraper.   This requires some effort, takes time and rarely clears the ice completely.  There will always be small areas of frost that you don't reach.

2.  Use a de-icer spray.  This will be quick but doesn't always clear all of the ice, and will eventually run out so you'll need to go and buy some more.

3.  Take some warm water and pour it over the car.   This is the quickest solution, is very easy to apply and there is no limit to the supply of warm water. There is a risk that you could crack the windscreen but you need no other product (scraper or de-icer) to help you. 

This is an excellent metaphor for life - both in business and in our personal lives.

When we are faced with challenges that block our way or cloud our vision we can either try to scrape away at them, or we can buy in some help to remove them or we can take the simplest and most plentiful supply of help that exists and that is the universal water of life that runs within us. 

We never run out of ideas and energy to solve our problems - we just sometimes get tired and look for easy and quick solutions.  But although there is a risk we could get hurt when we rely more upon our own strengths, it is this method that will ultimately clear the frost and ice that prevents us from making progress.   We have to find the inner strength to fight our battles, overcome our challenges and generate new ideas.  And we can literally go to the "tap" of universal energy and turn it on by asking, quietly, for the universe to help us.  And then be amazed at the results.

There will be times when we scrape at our challenges, and there may be times when we need help from an outside source.  However,  next time you face a challenge that could slow you down or you can't see clearly how to proceed, consider going within you first to find your answers.  They are there, flowing and plentiful.  Some quiet time, meditation or a walk in the country will often be all you need to get the warm water of inspiration flowing in your life once more...

This is a new section that will be used to publish articles, thoughts, poems or any other information sent in to me from readers of the newsletter.  This is your opportunity to share some of your thoughts, challenges and inspiring messages with others.  Email the details and I'll add them to this section. 

In this issue, Jenny Marsh provided some prose which she found inspiring...

"Love that is truly free, that stays with you, that no one can take away, emerges from your own self.
Invite others to enter into that state of your own love.
Do not seek their love.
You are the source of the love.
 
Someone may come to swim in your ocean, but remember, it's your water.
 
Love yourself.
Love yourself for where you've come from and how you've arrived here.
Love yourself for where you are.
And when you leave here, love yourself for the process of moving forward..."

Click here for Jenny's website

 
A dark day. 

One of those days when you feel that you can't succeed and everything around you is set to fail.

I cancelled some meetings with friends and clients as I simply couldn't face people.  But one meeting was with a successful person that I hadn't met.  For some reason, I knew I had to keep that appointment.

We met, and I listened to her story of success.  I felt the urge to opened up and share some of my difficulties, believing that her successful approach could help me.

After a few moments of my explanations and some helpful advice, she opened up and told me of her difficulties.  Some of which she has never shared with anyone...

Two people with assumptions about the other.  Two people who faced real uncertainty that day.  And two people who left the meeting feeling uplifted, encouraged and reassured that things could be better.

It was a meeting that very nearly didn't happen.

A uplifting moment?  Definitely.

Mystical?  You decide.

If you have received this newsletter for the first time, I hope you enjoyed reading it.  Feel free to pass on the thoughts and inspiration you may have taken from its contents.

If you would like to contribute to the newsletter or believe someone you know would enjoy receiving it - just let me know by emailing me at paul@real-success.co.uk.

Come along to a meeting if you'd like to find out more and share thoughts, ideas and inspiration with others that share your challenges and enjoy sharing!

Paul